some children can learn more efficienty by watching t.v. therefore, children should watch t.v regularly both in school and at home . do you agree or not ?

#children #efficienty #v #school #home

Chilren

Suggestion

Children

must watch

television

in both school and home in daily basis because it helps to enhance children's learning capacity

Accept space

In my opinion, I think

Accept space

even though watching

television

helps to uplift the

knowledge

and helps to release stress

Accept space

reading books and engaging physical activities in daily basis boost child mental and physical well being which help to elevate students

lerning

the cognitive process of acquiring skill or knowledge

learning

speed

Accept space

Firstly

Accept space

watching

television

helps to develop

knowledge

about

variety

Suggestion

a variety

of subjects all over the world

such

as science, history, technology as well as nature

Accept space

Nowadays

Accept space

television

has

plethora

Suggestion

a plethora

of channels which providing educational and

entertainment

Suggestion

entertaining

programme. .Encouraging children for limited time to

wach

look attentively

watch

such

programme

definetly

without question and beyond doubt

definitely

help to improve the children's

knowledge

and capacity while refreshing their mind

Accept space

For

example watching

Accept comma addition

example, watching

discovery channel provides

chilren

a young person of either sex

children

to know about

latest innovations

Suggestion

the latest innovations

, natural disasters

Accept space

animal behaviours to know about science.

However

, watching

television

daily both home and school bring

detrimenatl

(sometimes followed by 'to') causing harm or injury

detrimental

effects as it limits the child's imagination and literacy levels while providing negative physical physical health. These days, most

television

programme

Suggestion

programmes

are made for commercial purpose and having colourful

Accept space

fast moving motions keep

chilren

a young person of either sex

children

watching

television

long period limiting child creativity and imagination

Accept space

So it is important to motivate

chilren

a young person of either sex

children

to read

variety

Suggestion

a variety

the variety

of books as books enhance to develop

childs

Suggestion

child's

children

colds

language skills and reading skills while stimulating

brain

Suggestion

the brain

Accept space

furthermore

in addition

Furthermore

, engaging physical activities in school

such

playing tennis, cricket,

basketball as

Accept comma addition

basketball, as

well as swimming helps to refresh their mind that helps to focus their studies more efficiently. In conclusion

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though

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watching

television

daily provide to improve

childs

Suggestion

child's

children

child

knowledge

about different subjects

Accept space

reading books and engaging sports helps to boost mental and physical strength more efficiently to focus on their studies.

Submitted by maheshimk on Thu Jan 02 2020

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

290 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some children can learn more efficienty by watching t.v. therefore, children should watch t.v regularly both in school and at home . do you agree or not ?

Fully explain your ideas

These days, many people like to watch live performances (such as shows or concerts) at home, either on TV or on a computer, instead of attending in person. Do the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

The use of mobile phones is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phones should be banned like smoking. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Topic. Some people think that it is more effective for students to study in a group while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. why might be the case ? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation ?

Some people think personal happiness is directly related to economic success, while others believe this depends on other factors. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.