Many modern children spend a great deal of time sitting in front of a television or computer screen. This is extremely harmful to their development. Therefore, parents should strictly limit the time that children spend in this way.

#children #time #front #television #computer #screen #development #parents #limit

Many commentators are of the view that the

hours

a dwelling that serves as living quarters for one or more families

house

exhausted by latter-day adolescents in watching television or sticking to computer screen should be sternly alleviated considering the noxious impact

this

can have on their growth. I completely agree with

this

statement and would elaborate my opinion in the below paragraphs. Indubitably, these magnetic forms of media have proved to cause distraction to young minds leading to attenuation of concentration necessitous for elementary learning. There have been surveys showing that teenagers who invest ample of their valuable time in being glued to

television

Suggestion

the television

or computer often end up getting

low score

Suggestion

low scores

a low score

in examinations.

Furthermore

, the content available on these influential platforms greatly varies from worthwhile to

disruptive

Suggestion

disrupt

with the latter being actively prevalent. A case in point is popular advertisements of tobacco and junk food joints which aggravate the proneness of

younger generation

Suggestion

the younger generation

towards them. Ostensibly, protracted indulgence in

such

visual display units can result in deterioration of health as the pernicious ultraviolet rays can adversely impact the eyes and proper functioning of

brain

Suggestion

the brain

. There have

also

been evidences of them

causing

Suggestion

are causing

cause

chronic diseases

such

as brain and skin

cancer so

Accept comma addition

cancer, so

curtailing the augmented involvement of children in these machines is imperative. To conclude, from my perspective, there is an immediate indispensable need of truncating the time that younger people spend engrossed in television or computers to promote development of a knowledgeable and healthy future generation.

Thu Jan 02 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

235 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many modern children spend a great deal of time sitting in front of a television or computer screen. This is extremely harmful to their development. Therefore, parents should strictly limit the time that children spend in this way.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In modern times, children are spending less time with their families and more time with their friends. Why has this change occurred? Do you think parents should force their children to spend more time at home?

People living in the 21st century have a better life quality than people who lived in previous times. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.