Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

Whether

television

is a blessing or a curse has been a controversial topic since innovation until recent days. It is well known about

television

supremacy over many peoples’ free time, and it can make people lazy and strains them from socializing with their peers or relatives. In

this

essay, I will show why I strongly agree with

this

notion. On the one hand,

television

distracts people from health exercises. Because

television

is amusing and considered as a time-killer, people often forget to have their daily exercise,

accordingly

, the obesity rate increases.

Moreover

television

is not only increasing obesity among

people but

Accept comma addition

people, but

also

has a negative effect on

muscles

Suggestion

the muscles

and blood pressure because of the poor diet of convenience food while watching

television

. According to a recent report by the red-cross organization in 2018, obesity or inadequate development and cardiovascular disease rate is over 70%

Suggestion

people who spend all night watching

television

programs.

Furthermore

television

negatively affects

sociality

-integral skills among people.

Although

the family can assemble in the same house watching

television

addiction has a detrimental effect on peoples’ integration with the span of relatives, peers, and

neighbors

a person who lives (or is located) near another

neighbours

. Due to the captivating leisure of

television

, people cannot flee from movies or series,

therefore

, their communication with the outside community declines slowly. According to a new survey by the EGYPTIAN supreme national committee of multimedia, the tendency to become solitary people increases among those who spend their free time watching

television

. To conclude,

television

distracts people from looking after their health and

dietary

Suggestion

diet

, while

also

increases the tendency to switch to solitary people due to lack of interaction with foreigners. Because of the above-mentioned reasons, I withstand the notion that

television

has more detrimental effects on our lifestyle.

Submitted by zekas.zf on Thu Jan 02 2020

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others. Do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Students today can easily access information online, so libraries are no longer necessary. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that students benefit greatly from going to private secondary schools, but others assert that private secondary schools have a negative impact on the young generation and the society alike. Discuss both views.