IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

31. You have visited another city in your country. Prior to the visit you requested some information from a tourist centre, but the information was incorrect. Write a letter to the manager of the centre and say What information were you looking for What was incorrect in it What happened to you because of it

#city #country #visit #information #tourist #centre #manager
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Dear Sir, I am writing
this
 letter to inform you about the incorrect information in your detail book which was provided by the centre ten days ago. My tour
to
Change preposition
of
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 Dubai was very enjoyable,
however
, the schedule of some places like museums was inaccurate and as a
result
Add a comma
result,
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 we faced some difficulties. Me and my husband had planned everything after observing your tourist book so that we could enjoy it without wastage of time. On the third day of the trip, we reached the museum at 9AM on Saturday, unfortunately, the guard mentioned to us that
this
 place had been closed since October
due to
 construction.
Moreover
, the price of the ticket for the zoo is not $200 which is
also
 false in your book. The correct price is $300. Many problems were faced by us because
this
 tour cost more than our budget. We had to change the plans for the tour and everything was messed up. The taxi expenses and ticket prices were more than the budget. It is requested take strict action on it as soon
you
Correct word choice
as you
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 can so that other people do not face any problems. Yours faithfully, Upinder Kaur
Submitted by upinder7696 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve the logical structure, ensure the paragraphs flow smoothly from one to the next. Consider using transitional phrases or linking words to guide the reader through the text.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph centers around a single idea. In your letter, you could separate the events during the museum visit and the issues faced. This will enhance clarity.
task achievement
Include more details about how the incorrect information was initially obtained or requested to provide a fuller context.
task achievement
The letter uses a polite and professional tone, which is suitable for addressing a concern to a manager.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are well-executed, adding to the formal tone of the letter.
task achievement
The response addresses the main points of the task: what information was needed, what was incorrect, and the resulting issues.
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