IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In the past, people used to go to museums to learn facts about culture and history. Nowadays people can find all this freely on the Internet so the museums are no longer important. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #museums #facts #culture #history #internet
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many years ago, people were interested in historical culture and often made a
visit
Use synonyms
 to those historical
places
Use synonyms
 and
museums
Use synonyms
 but today they prefer to check their website and see all the pictures online
instead
Linking Words
 of having a personal
visit
Use synonyms
. In the modern world, it is understandable that the use of technology gaining in popularity and more people tend to use it in all different matters
as well as
Linking Words
 virtual tours. I personally disagree with the disintegration of
museums
Use synonyms
 and believe the more we extend the virtual tour the more unpopular actual
museums
Use synonyms
 become. The following essay will discuss both agreement and disagreement on the matter. On the positive side, virtual tours can be less time and money-consuming
while
Linking Words
, it only needs a high-speed data network and electronic devices like a smartphone or a laptop,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, it is more convenient.
For example
Linking Words
, recently
due to
Linking Words
 the inflation rate in Turkey, many international visitors who visited Istanbul could not afford a
visit
Use synonyms
 to some of the historical
places
Use synonyms
 in the city since the price has risen significantly, so they all tried a virtual tour which is totally free to use. On the negative side,
museums
Use synonyms
 are part of a nation's culture and it is vital to keep their history alive.
However
Linking Words
, it has become less attractive since people can have access to all the details online which will result in
museums
Use synonyms
 becoming outdated or irrelevant. In conclusion,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the Internet had an impact on visitors to historical
places
Use synonyms
 and made it easier to
visit
Use synonyms
 these
places
Use synonyms
 online but it is really important to keep these
places
Use synonyms
 for the younger generation since they are one of the greatest parts of culture and tradition.
Submitted by kk1994 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Elaborate more on the disagreement and agreement points for a well-rounded argument.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the connection between paragraphs by using more linking phrases or words.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good framework for the argument.
task achievement
There is an effort to discuss both sides of the argument, showing a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: