One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #outweigh

The advancement in technology has not only benefited scientific discoveries but

also

remarkably impacted medicine and medical science. The century is blessed with comprehensive medical care and which has drastically improved

lifespan

among people. I firmly believe that due to increased

lifespan

the human civilization will be enlightened

further

and it will benefit

society

positively. The ultra-advancement in modern technology has transformed medical facilities and helped to cure some deadly diseases. With improved

lifespan

, people are able to contribute more to the

society

For instance

, In the US we have seen a number of people involved in startups after retirement. With their knowledge and experience, these startups are a massive success in the states. These startups are helping efficiently to move the economy and eradicate unemployment. People can spend more time with their family. In the modern era, the number of working parents is heightening, they are not able to take care of their kids due to work related commitments. These parents can leave their kids in safe hands of grandparents.

Finally

, the way many see an elder generation as a burden to

society

is no longer true.

For instance

, Politics, defence, finance and medicines are all sectors which require decades of experience and knowledge. To conclude, We as a

society

should learn from our senior generations so that we can

also

give back to

society

as they are

giving

Suggestion

given

and learn to make

this

planet a much safer to live. Improved

lifespan

is a blessing for the human race and we should be thankful for the technology.

Submitted by bhatsunny089 on Fri Jan 03 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

258 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, schools have started to include online learning as part of their curriculum. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Some people think that children should not watch television as it has negative effects while some people believe that they should watch television as it helps them in their future. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

An increasingly number of professionals , such as doctors and teachers , are leaving their own poorer countries yo work in developed countries . What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation ?

Should the driving age be raised to prevent teen car accidents?