IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

We live in a world of technology these days, While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree?

#world #technology #internet #terms #control #security #information
It is a fact that, the
internet
 has effected our life's one way or another; sometimes positive and on some occasions negatively. The
Internet
 had made our life much easier by giving access to
information
 with a click of a button. Some people believe,
although
 there are many advantages to using the
internet
; it comes with many associated problems like identity theft,
information
 theft etc. I believe the benefits a person derives from using the
internet
 outweighs its disadvantages and in
this
 essay I will put forth my views with suitable examples.
Firstly
, developing the
internet
 or the World Wide Web was one of the greatest achievements of mankind from the
last
 century. With the help of the
Internet
 many companies which started off in garages became multi-billion dollar companies. But as the reach of the
internet
 became wider, it was very clear that there were many problems associated with web usage. But many of the security issues related to
internet
 usage can be prevented by taking some simple precautionary measures.
For instance
, it is better to browse the
internet
 or use banking portals using a VPN (Virtual Private Network), by doing so you will be able to hide your identity from potential hackers who are trying to get your personal
information
such
 as credit card details.
Secondly
, with the help of
internet
 students are getting access to
information
 on a wide variety of topics through e-learning portals like Coursera and Udemay.
This
 has helped many students across the world who do not get the opportunity to go to college to learn these subjects.
For example
, it's been estimated that by 2025 there will be almost 10 million students across the world using e-learning portals for their educational needs. To conclude,
although
 there are some disadvantages to using the
internet
, I believe the benefits you derive out of using the
internet
 outweighs the negatives
Submitted by ns.davis.1990 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • digital banking
  • cybersecurity
  • data protection
  • security breaches
  • cyber attacks
  • online transactions
  • digital divide
  • surveillance
  • freedom of information
  • responsible usage
  • ethical considerations
  • digital footprints
  • online behavior
  • information inequality
What to do next:
Look at other essays: