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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people prefer to save money. Others prefer to use their money on things they will enjoy. What is the best approach towards money? Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #money #approach
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in
Suggestion
In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era, there is no doubt to say that
money
Use synonyms
 is very essential thing for every
individuals
Suggestion
individual
.
Linking Words
however
Suggestion
However
,
Accept space
,
 whether there is some dispute for
few people
Suggestion
a few people
 to use their
money
Use synonyms
 for enjoy purpose while
other
plural of other; the people or things not already mentioned
others
 think that to save it.
according
Suggestion
According
 to latest lifestyle ideal way for
money
Use synonyms
is
Suggestion
Is
 to purchase the things which give happiness to human beings.
Linking Words
although
Suggestion
Although
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 will articulate both the sides of these
approch
move towards
approaches
approach
 in
coming paragraphs
Suggestion
the coming paragraphs
.
one
Suggestion
One
 group of
peolpe
(plural) any group of human beings (men or women or children) collectively
people
believe
Suggestion
believes
 that to save the
money
Use synonyms
 they actually earn from their
works
Suggestion
work
.
the
Suggestion
The
first
Linking Words
 argument is related to
this
Linking Words
 is it will
helped
Suggestion
help
 them when they have
difficults situation
Suggestion
a difficult situation
difficult situation
difficulties situation
.
if
Suggestion
If
 they
areb
Suggestion
are b
 kept their
money
Use synonyms
 with them and not spending on
unneccessry
not necessary
unnecessary
 things
such
Linking Words
 as buying modern
design
Suggestion
designer
 clothes
,
Accept space
,
 music and advanced
toys
Accept comma addition
toys, then
then
Linking Words
 they have good values in
end
Suggestion
the end
 of
month
Suggestion
the month
.
the
Suggestion
The
secondand
Suggestion
second and
also
Linking Words
 most
relavent
having a bearing on or connection with the subject at issue
relevant
 argument is that
in addition
Linking Words
, they have
large store
Suggestion
a large store
large stores
 of
money
Use synonyms
as a
Linking Words
result they
Accept comma addition
result, they
do not required
Suggestion
do not require
 any loans from the
goverment
the organization that is the governing authority of a political unit
government
 and
also
Linking Words
 escape from the charges of the agencies.
while
Suggestion
While
 other folks of
individuls
a human being
individual
 opinion that use the
money
Use synonyms
 on the things which give us enjoyments and satisfaction.
there
Suggestion
There
 is clear that we live in
modern era
Suggestion
the modern era
 and people always prefer to do buy
somethings
Suggestion
some things
 that have their own joy.
nowadyas
Suggestion
Nowadays
Nowadyas
 there is one
compitition
a business relation in which two parties compete to gain customers
competition
competitions
 between human to human for showing off their materials to the world and as a
consiquence
a phenomenon that follows and is caused by some previous phenomenon
consequence
 of
this
Linking Words
 most mankind prefer to use their lots of
money
Use synonyms
 to purchase unimportant things.
Linking Words
for
Suggestion
For
instance if
Accept comma addition
instance, if
 one person
have
Suggestion
has
 best company cell phone another person
also
Linking Words
 have idea to collect the equal style of
phone
Suggestion
the phone
.
Linking Words
furthermore
in addition
Furthermore
,
large mejority
Suggestion
the large majority
large majority
a large majority
 of citizens prefer to spend their
money
Use synonyms
 on the things that give them happiness To sum up,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 believe that people prefer to save their own values for future
work but
Accept comma addition
work, but
 if they want to live healthy and happy
lthey
people in general
they
 spend their
money
Use synonyms
 on their latest things.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • future stability
  • emergencies
  • unforeseen expenses
  • economic downturns
  • job loss
  • long-term goals
  • buying a house
  • funding children’s education
  • experiencing life’s pleasures
  • luxury items
  • memorable experiences
  • derive happiness
  • delayed gratification
  • yield higher returns
  • stock markets
  • real estate
  • starting a business
  • emotional and psychological benefits
  • reduce stress
  • mental health
  • sense of fulfillment
  • fruits of one’s labor
  • balanced life
  • financial stability
  • personal happiness
  • well-being
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