Some people feel that entertainers such as film stars, pop musicians or sports stars are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

Nowadays entertainment industries are growing in every
country
across the globe. Some people are in opinion that actors, singers, and
sportsperson
are making more
money
than other professions.I believe that they should pay higher because of their
continueos
continuing in time or space without interruption
continuous
continued
effort and
hardworking but
Accept comma addition
hard working, but
hard working but
there is another profession like national
army
who put their life
on
Suggestion
at
risk should pay extra.
To begin
with, in
this
modern era we have seen significant improvement in the entertainment industries than earlier because of massive improvement in technology. These are less depends on the
government
and pay high taxes.
For instance
, playing sports in different countries not only strengthens the economy while collecting
money
from the audience
also
stronger their tourism industry
consequently increase
Suggestion
consequently increases
employment opportunities.
Similarly
, actors and pop musicians increase their profit while arranging different concerts across the world.
Thus
sportsmen and artists make
money
from spectators,
therefore
, the
government
should encourage the performance of their efforts while providing the required facilities.
Secondly
, there is another profession that should not be ignoring paying them extra
such
as the national
army who
Accept comma addition
army, who
always face danger to fight against enemies to protect the
country
. Protection is the essential priority of each individual because without proper
security we
Accept comma addition
security, we
can not
can not
cannot
enjoy our life despite having full entertainment facilities. Paying them low wage it will lose their motivation
therefore
it is the responsibility of the
government
increasing
defense budget
Suggestion
the defence budget
defence budget
to make our national heroes more powerful.
For instance
, in the united state, the average
army
income is 10% higher than other professions that make US
army
one of the strongest in the world. In conclusion, artist and sportsman make more
money
which
is less rely
Suggestion
is less relying
has less relied
relies less
is less rely
on
government
and paying taxes that
boost
Suggestion
the boost country's economy, however
the boost country's economy however
boost country's economy however
country
economy
however
human life is more important so I
belive
accept as true; take to be true
believe
believed
that strengthen the
militiry
of or relating to the study of the principles of warfare
military
force may secure our
country
.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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