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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Machines have replaced physical work in many industries. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#machines #work #industries
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In the evaluation of the human history,
life
Use synonyms
 started getting easier with the inventions of the machines and
thoughtfull
having intellectual depth
thoughtful
 ideas to develop the machines. With the progress of science, various ideas have started getting implemented, lessening the human efforts. But as
coin
Suggestion
a coin
 has 2 sides, the disadvantage of
this
Linking Words
 evaluation resulted into the new problems and concerns. According to me,
drawbacks
Suggestion
the drawbacks
 of the machines getting introduced in almost all the
industried
the people or companies engaged in a particular kind of commercial enterprise
industries
 are more than
disadvantages
Suggestion
the disadvantages
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will throw the light on the heavier side.
Initially
Linking Words
, when there is no much progress in science and machine development, human efforts are required. Because of which, there is
large number
Suggestion
a large number
 of employment and living standards are
mainained
kept in good condition
maintained
.
For example
Linking Words
, when there were textile manufacturing meals, large number of people have jobs and their
life
Use synonyms
 is much
stable
Suggestion
more stable
 with the regular
incoms
the financial gain (earned or unearned) accruing over a given period of time
income
. But once the machines introduced in the textile industry, they lost their jobs and income stopped which resulted
into
Suggestion
in
 many other problems of living and getting normal lives. Another thing is that, manual efforts were
giving
Suggestion
given
 exercises
to
Suggestion
of
 the body which was the source of much healthy
life
Use synonyms
 style. But when machines were introduced, people started becoming lazy and previous healthy
life
Use synonyms
 style got pampered.
This
Linking Words
resuulted
a phenomenon that follows and is caused by some previous phenomenon
resulted
results
 in unhealthy and disease prone lives now a days. So in my opinion, to maintain the healthy and happy
Use synonyms
life styles
a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes
lifestyles
, converting all the industries automated should be judged and tested with all other circumstances and
then
Linking Words
 only they should get allowed with large number of machines.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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