There is an increasing amount of advertising directed at children which encourages them to buy goods such as toys and snacks. Many parents are worried that these advertisements put too much pressure on children, while some advertisers claim that they provide useful information to children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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this

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contemporary epoch, the proliferation of

advertisements

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related to

teenager's

Fix the agreement mistake

teenagers'

show examples

eatables or games is rising. The advocates believe that ads are beneficial

while

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critics say that they have negative impacts on the minds of juveniles.

This

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essay will delve into both viewpoints and will lead to a logical conclusion as well.

To begin

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with, the most prominent advantage of

advertisements

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in the lives of children is that they help them to get aware and more knowledgeable about products which are available in the market.

For instance

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, Amul milk and Amul butter are advertised on television on a regular basis, which motivates most kids to increase their intake of these in their daily lives because it helps them to get strong and grow faster.

Thus

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, most children do so, after getting influenced by the

advertisements

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However

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, there are a certain number of ads which have poor repercussions on the lives of individuals.

For instance

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, some soft drink or fried chip companies

also

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encourage kids to drink or eat

such

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food but in reality, they have pernicious effects on their bodies.

Furthermore

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, some highly expensive gaming equipment is

also

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extremely eye-catching and expensive, some juveniles become more demanding after watching

such

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ads but they are out of the budget of their guardians.

Thus

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, adverts prove to be useless in some circumstances. In my opinion,

advertisements

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are the means of earning for certain companies,

therefore

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, if there is a ban on them by the government, it will not help. Meanwhile, some adverts teach teenagers good habits as well.

Hence

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instead

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of opposing them, the parents and teachers should take some measures to encourage the children to follow only good pop-ups.

To conclude

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, as per the testimonials mentioned above it is crystal clear that both

advertisements

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are positive and negative. It is possible with the efforts of guardians that their child should only get influenced by good adverts.

ss6802125Wed Aug 14 2024

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task response

Your essay tends to state points without fully developing them. Try to elaborate further on each point you make, providing more detailed explanations or examples.

coherence and cohesion

Work on the logical structure of your paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that the ideas flow logically from one to the next.

introduction and conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and present, but they could be more refined. Aim to offer a stronger thesis statement and a more impactful conclusion.

task response

You have done well in addressing both sides of the argument, providing a balanced discussion.

introduction and conclusion

Your essay has a clear introduction and a conclusion, which gives it a good structure overall.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

315 words

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Fully explain your ideas

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation?

G. In many countries, the government prioritizes economic growth over all other concerns. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

In many countries government spend a lot of money on arts. However, some think government should spend more on health and education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries there has been an increase in social problems involving teenagers in recent years. Many people believe that this is due to modern lifestyles because parents spend more and more time at work and have less time to supervise their children. To what extent do you believe this is true?