IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. Others, however, believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old.

#people #children #school #home #six #seven #years
A vast section of the society think that the kids should be enrolled in a school at an early
age
. While, some believe that they should allow kids to engage more in recreation activities at
home
 until a certain
age
. I, wholeheartedly, agree with the
first
 view. The advancement in the technology has revolutionised the education sector. Most of the schools are built with modern facilities. New ways of learning are introduced in the school curriculum which focus more on the recreation and stress on the physical growth of a child.
For instance
, play ways, childcare and nurseries which are fully dedicated to the kids below 6 years of
age
.
Moreover
, all these establishments have excellent programs which engage kids to perform different activities.
In addition
 to
this
, all these schools have professional staff, who are trained to take care of kids and make sure they develop mentally as well as physically. According to a survey, the kids who start school at an early
age
 are more mentally developed than the rest of the kids. Mental development includes abilities
such
 as thinking, attending, problem solving and creativity. Some portion of the society argues that the adolescent
age
 should be spent at
home
 as kids require more care and protection.
Moreover
, they
also
 tend to believe that schools somehow restrict the children and hampers their freedom.
Similarly
, Ethics and
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 are argued to be more developed at
home
,
instead
 of the schools where bad habits may influence the children. In conclusion, I must admit that ethics and
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 can be inherited at
home
, but the mental development is the key to every kid. The modern establishments are highly advanced and focus on the overall development of adolescence.
Submitted by sunrubs089 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: