The professional workers such as doctors, nurses, and teachers should be paid more than the sports and entertainment starts or personalities. Do you agree or disagree

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These days, a group of people believe that skilled workforces like Doctors, teachers and so on have to earn more money

instead

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of professional athletes or individuals whose work is in the entertainment industries. I subscribe to

this

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idea owing to the fact that these works have a positive effect on the health of the society and developing country. On the one hand, the factor

that is

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really important is that when the population who work in the health system earn sufficient money, the level of their services and work will be better and more young generations are encouraged to do these works and study these fields in the university.

In other words

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, they survive human life and improve the community life;

moreover

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, when their income is low,

then

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young people do not follow

this

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field.

On the other hand

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, teachers' incomes have an effect on countries' development inasmuch as they train the youth and teach them a range of the ability that aid them in developing their countries. When they are under financial strain, they do various activities rather than concentrate on their jobs.

For example

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, Japan has a good academic system and their teachers have the highest income;

as a result

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, their educators teach several skills to the students and we can see

this

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country develop really fast.

To sum up

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, the professional workers' income is really more important than the sportsmen or other people on account of the fact that their occupations have a lot of influence on the inhabitants' health and the number of workers in the future.

maryamkazemi968Wed Mar 19 2025

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task achievement

Consider providing more specific examples or data to support your arguments, especially in terms of societal impact and income levels in different professions.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure to link your ideas more clearly between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the flow of the essay.

coherence and cohesion

Try to use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance your writing style and make your arguments more compelling.

task achievement

You have presented a clear position and maintained your argument throughout the essay.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured, summarizing your main points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

essential services
functioning and improvement of society
well-being and education
vital role
shaping the future generation
foundation for a better society
attract talented individuals
quality of education
on the front lines
maintaining public health
expertise and dedication
quality of life
market forces and consumer demand
prioritizing essential professions
long-term benefits
high-stress environments
emotional strain
adequate compensation
public funds and resources
balanced and equitable society

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The professional workers such as doctors, nurses, and teachers should be paid more than the sports and entertainment starts or personalities. Do you agree or disagree

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say History is oneof the most important school subjets. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Write a letter to the restaurant, applying for the job. In your letter: •explain what you are currently doing •describe your suitability for this area of work •say when you can attend an interview

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. What extent do yo agree or disagree. What measure do you think might be effective.

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal firness trainer, rather tha playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this ? Is this a positive or a negative development