While , some individuals believe that people feel unsafe at their a residence and also when they outside. There are several factors and solutions. I would discuss these both views in upcoming paragraph

#individuals #people #residence #factors #paragraph

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Feeling unsafe is common nowadays. No one is safe on the roads as well as their

home

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

However

Linking Words

, some people considered that they feel unsafe in their house as well as outside. While

that is

Linking Words

happening because of

road

Use synonyms

accidents and

war

Use synonyms

between countries, there are a few solutions as well. On the one hand, two main causes of feeling unsafe in outside and

home

Use synonyms

are

road

Use synonyms

accidents and

war

Use synonyms

Linking Words

firstly

Suggestion

Firstly

, the

road

Use synonyms

accident rate is increasing all over the earth and people becoming unsafe.

In other words

Linking Words

, people driving without responsibility and a lot of accidents happening all over the world an because of that, people feeling depressed and tensed and feeling unsafe.

Secondly

Linking Words

, another main cause is

war

Use synonyms

between countries. Because

war

Use synonyms

between states can

damaged

Suggestion

damage

the happier life of people and they can feel unsafe as well as unhappier on that situation.

For example

Linking Words

, there was no one outside of

home

Use synonyms

in Iran at the time of

fight

Suggestion

the fight

against the USA and

this

Linking Words

is the cause of unsafe in the outside of

Use synonyms

home

Suggestion

the home

a home

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the

first

Linking Words

solution is the responsibility of

government

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, if a

government

Use synonyms

responsible to blemish the

road

Use synonyms

accident, they

will developed

Suggestion

will develop

the punishment system of drive safely.

As a result

Linking Words

, people will be drive seriously and ordinary people can lead a happier life as well. Another solution is friendly world leaders.

Therefore

Linking Words

, if the leaders of countries are friendly, they will be respectful to each other. For that reason, they

will talked

Suggestion

will talk

friendly and there will be no fight and people can lead a happier life.

For instance

Linking Words

, Norendra modi the president of India and Sheikh Hasina the president of Bangladesh

are

Suggestion

so much friendly and there were no fight between these two countries. In conclusion, crime and clash producing unsafe earth in

this

Linking Words

modern era.

Although

Linking Words

, these problems can be tackled by responsible

government

Use synonyms

and friendly meeting of world leaders. It is because, the

government

Use synonyms

punishment can force people

for

Suggestion

drive unsafely as well as friendly leaders can demolish clashes between countries.

Submitted by ononnaami6018 on Tue Jan 07 2020

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15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

344 words

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While , some individuals believe that people feel unsafe at their a residence and also when they outside. There are several factors and solutions. I would discuss these both views in upcoming paragraph

In some countries, it is possible to have a variety of food that has been transported from all over the world. To what extent do you think its benefits outweigh the drawbacks?

Online education is becoming increasingly popular. Many university students are choosing to study online instead of face to face. Do the advantages of distance education outwiegh the disadvantages?

Ambition is a positive quality for people to have in society today. How important is it for people who want to succeed in life? Is it a positive or negative characteristic?

Although the prices of fuels have greatly increased over the last decade or two, it is argued that further increases in fuel prices are the only way to reduce world consumption of fuel and lessen pressure on the world's fuel resources.