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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many young children have unsupervised access to the Internet and are using the Internet to socialise with others. This has can lead to a number of dangerous situations which can be threatening for childrean. Discuss problems and solution.

#children #access #internet #socialise #situations #childrean
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In
this
Linking Words
 concurrent world technology made a remarkable progress in each and every field.
However
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,
Accept space
,
 nowadays we can see that many adolescents are
access
Suggestion
accessing
 an
internet
Use synonyms
 in their
parents
Suggestion
parents'
parent's
 absence and communicate online with each other. In child
age they
Accept comma addition
age, they
 do not have a sufficient knowledge
abot
(of quantities) imprecise but fairly close to correct
about
internet
Use synonyms
.
Accept space
.
Linking Words
Hence sometimes
Accept comma addition
Hence, sometimes
 they put their self
in to
expresses motion to a point on, or within, something
into
 tremendous
hazzard
a source of danger; a possibility of incurring loss or misfortune
hazard
hazards
 by using a wrong way. In
uocoming
of the relatively near future
coming
upcoming
 paragraph
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 shall discuss both causes and perks of
this
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 ranging phenomena. To initiate with
,
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,
 today we can see that many youngsters are using a social media applications
such
Linking Words
 as
facebook
Suggestion
Facebook
,
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,
instagram
Suggestion
,
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,
 tweeter
etc
Suggestion
 and they make a friendship with unknown person and by the time they share their personal information like family income
,
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,
 credit card details and more on
therefore
Linking Words
 cyber burglars are settled amount in their account.
Moreover
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,
Accept space
,
todlers
a young child
toddlers
 are easily addicted by
game
Suggestion
the game
 and the game addiction make them to create
offense
a lack of politeness; a failure to show regard for others; wounding the feelings or others
offence
.
For instance
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,
Accept space
,
 recently in china one
children
Suggestion
child
 was
kill
Suggestion
killed
 by their friend because of they
make
Suggestion
have made
 a mistake while they were playing a game. To mitigate
this
Linking Words
 biggest phenomena parents should learn them children to access
internet
Use synonyms
 on
right direction
Suggestion
the right direction
.
Linking Words
Secondly use
Accept comma addition
Secondly, use
 those software who
show
Suggestion
shows
 a
privious
just preceding something else in time or order
previous
 searching history on
Use synonyms
internet
Suggestion
the internet
.
Consequently
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,
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,
 there are many devices launched in market for using only for education
,
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,
 so buy that type of device for children. To conclude
,
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,
 in the light of
above discussion
Suggestion
the above discussion
,
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,
 it can be inferred that
,
Accept space
,
 it is a
parents
Suggestion
parent's
 responsibility to direct children for using
a
Suggestion
an
internet
Use synonyms
 on
rolight
all of your experiences that determine how things appear to you
reality
realist
 way.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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