IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Education and health care should be funded by the government and free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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It is widely debated whether the
government
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 should fund
education
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 and
health
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care
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to
Change preposition
for
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people
Use synonyms
. Some believe that
government
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 should not provide it to
people
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 for free;
however
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others believe it should be free. My viewpoint is that funding it for free is a
Use synonyms
government's
Change noun form
government
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 obligation, so they have to provide it to
people
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 for free. For the majority of
people
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 who disagree with it, their perspective is that
education
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 and
health
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care
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 are extremely expensive and can't be afforded by a limited
government
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 budget.
Additionally
Linking Words
, an increase
of
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in
show examples
 patients and students means
that
Correct word choice
apply
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less quality.
Although
Linking Words
 it might bring a few disadvantages, I reckon that the
advantage
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advantages
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outweigh
Change the verb form
outweighs
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 the
disadvantage
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disadvantages
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. At
first,
Linking Words
nowadays getting
education
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 and
health
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care
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 has been considered as a part of human rights.
For instance
Linking Words
, several charities donate necessities, provide the basic environment to the child to learn, or basic
health
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 services to third world
due to
Linking Words
 humanitarian reasons, or international organizations assist those less developed countries
to construct
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in constructing
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 infrastructure.
Thus
Linking Words
, for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humanitarian reasons, the
government
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 is liable to fund
education
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 and
health
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care
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 for free.
Additionally
Linking Words
, both
education
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 and
health
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care
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 are
also
Linking Words
 a factor
to maintain
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in maintaining
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 or
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
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 the development of a country. For a country without
adequate
Correct article usage
an adequate
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 medical environment or comprehensive schooling system, it will affect economic development;
furthermore
Linking Words
, with
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of
education
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 and
health
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care
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 might come several effects,
such
Linking Words
 as an increasing
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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poverty, an increase
of
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in
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 crime rate, and even trigger for a war. The immediate benefit which funding it brings is to maintain and improve the status quo. In summary,
although
Linking Words
 it might contribute to a large financial burden,
overall
Linking Words
 the
advantage
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advantages
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 outweigh the
disadvantage
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disadvantages
show examples
, which is the reason why I agree with it.

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task response
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents your viewpoint and the main points you will discuss in the essay. Additionally, use linking words and cohesive devices to improve the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay exhibits a good level of coherence and cohesion. However, to enhance this further, consider using a wider range of cohesive devices such as linking words, reference words, and conjunctions to create a more cohesive and logically structured essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental right
  • socioeconomic status
  • equal opportunities
  • financial burden
  • economically disadvantaged
  • public health expenditures
  • workforce
  • economic growth
  • waiting times
  • government budgets
  • financial constraints
  • higher taxes
  • reallocation
  • privatization
  • quality services
  • inequality
  • fulfill responsibility
What to do next:
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