Despite greater access to school education, many adults today still cannot read or write. How does this affect them in life? What can government do to help them?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Illiteracy is one of the biggest problems, faced by
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
society.
Inspite
Correct your spelling
In spite

If you don’t want Inspite to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

of having an increasing number of primary and secondary schools, many men and women continue to remain illiterate. The primary effect of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is they are helpless to live in poor conditions
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

lack
Correct article usage
a lack

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
of proper
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs

It seems that job may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

issue
cab
Correct your spelling
can

The word cab doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
ne
Correct your spelling
be

If you don’t want ne to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

resolved by timely intervention by the
government
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

which can provide free basic
education
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to everyone. It is a known fact that to get a
well paid
Add a hyphen
well-paid

It seems that well paid is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

show examples
white collar job, an individual should be highly qualified which is not the case in many adults.
Due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

lack
Correct article usage
a lack

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
of
education
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and proper
knowledge
Add a comma
knowledge,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Due to lack of education and proper knowledge. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
they are hired to work as
a labour
Correct your spelling
labourers

The word a labour doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
mainly at a construction site and are paid extremely minimal wages.
Due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

they continue to remain below
poverty
Add an article
the poverty

The noun phrase poverty line seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
line and are unable to carve out a better life for themselves or their family.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, India, being one of the fastest growing economies in the world has one of the highest numbers of illiterate young population.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
government
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can help them by providing free basic
education
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. The
government
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of any country, being the highest
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making

It appears that decision making is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

show examples
authority, can help by making basic
education
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

compulsory for all.
In other words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, with
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Correct article usage
a law

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
law
Add a comma
law,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase with such law. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
the problem will be addressed at
grass root
Replace the word
the grassroots

The word grass root doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
level wherein everyone will at least know
basics
Correct article usage
the basics

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
of reading and writing which can help them in future.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

could be done by setting up new schools in every village and
districts
Fix the agreement mistake
district

It seems that districts may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
of the country.
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
government
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can collaborate with NGOs wherein these NGOs can conduct classes for
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

men and women and educate them about basic reading and writing which will eventually help them to progress in life.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there was a recent news article on an NGO – Hope which conducts night
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes

It seems that class may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
for labourers and provides them
Change preposition
with basis
show examples
basis
Replace the word
basic

The word basis doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
education
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

in turn is helping the workers immensely. In conclusion,
inspite
Correct your spelling
in spite

If you don’t want inspite to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

of improving primary
education
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

resources the number of uneducated youth continues to remain high and
as a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
they continue to live in poverty. The onus is on the
government
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to provide proper access
for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
education
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to everyone thereby improving the living standards.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the essay adequately addresses the topic, try to provide more specific solutions and actions the government can take. Delve deeper into how these solutions help decrease illiteracy rates and improve living conditions.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. Some transitions can be more explicit to guide the reader through your argument. For example, using transition phrases such as 'Furthermore', 'In addition', and 'For this reason' can enhance flow.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical structure and sentence coherence to deliver points more clearly. For instance, closely relate each sentence within a paragraph to reinforce the main idea. Avoid veering off-topic within paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Introduction clearly states the problem of illiteracy despite better access to education and sets context for the rest of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion nicely summarizes the main points and reiterates the responsibility of the government, effectively wrapping up the essay.
task achievement
Good use of specific examples such as referencing India and the NGO 'Hope' to illustrate the effects of illiteracy and possible solutions.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: