Research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life. Which do you consider to be the major influence?
Nowadays, scientists have found that the features we are born with have more effectivity on our behaviour and enhancement in our lives compared with our experiences. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall elaborate on both sides and discuss my opinion more.
On the one hand,
firstly
, it is obvious that our internal features, such
as enough ambition, can be helpful regarding our success. In other words
, if we rely on these options, we will achieve our targets successfully. Secondly
, our inherent behavioural features can improve our position in terms of job promotion and social lives. For example
, in the USA, therapists assume that our emotions are fluctuating. So, if we control them properly, we will gain more advantages.
On the other hand
, critics argue that our experiences are much more significant than our characteristics. They think we will be able to enhance our quality of life with factual data based on our knowledge related to the real environment. Moreover
, they try to use expert individuals for their tasks, as they can ensure that they will be successful. However
, I strongly believe that we need a balance between these two options. Thus
, it would be a great idea if we created a logical balance between these two theories. For instance
, in India, most people tend to trust factual information rather than their feelings.
In conclusion, if we rely on our inner abilities, we will be able to achieve our goals appropriately. Also
, we need factual data based on reality. Thus
, it is crucial to establish a balance between these two items.Submitted by ali.pazoki72 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that your main points are well developed with specific examples or details.
task achievement
Clarify your main argument in the introduction and maintain a consistent stance throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs using linking words and phrases.
task achievement
Use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to improve the overall readability and sophistication of the essay.
introduction conclusion present
You have provided a clear introduction and a well-structured conclusion.
complete response
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing a balanced understanding of the topic.
relevant specific examples
You have made an effort to include factual examples, which strengthens your argument.