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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that parents have great influence on children's development, while others consider that external influence plays a more important role in childrens life.

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It is true that for developing the factor of personality a
child
Use synonyms
 have to get influenced from both parents and externals. People think that children get influenced by their
families whereas
Accept comma addition
families, whereas
 some of them deem that external
infulence
a power to affect persons or events especially power based on prestige etc
influence
 plays a vital role in every
children's
Suggestion
child's
 life. I discuss my viewpoints on the mentioned statement.
To begin
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 with, there are multifarious reasons from which it is analysed that how parents influence their offspring's life. The primary one is with the help of parents, children can
diffrentiate
mark as different
differentiate
 between the right and wrong choices.
For example
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, while choosing the friend circle, children often get
stucked
caught or fixed
stuck
 and if they know about the general things, they do not face
this
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 problem.
Moreover
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, parents
also
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 teach the moral ethics as well as basic knowledge to their wards which helps them that how to communicate with the society. Probing
further
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, there are some other things which helps in the development of a
child
Use synonyms
. The primary one is
schools
Suggestion
schooled
 and education centres. Because of these children get knowledge and know that what type of career is suitable for them that how to be in a society. As it is a fact that
teacher
Suggestion
the teacher
a teacher
 is the
second
Linking Words
 face of
mother
Suggestion
the mother
. They treat each and every student like their own wards. In conclusion, I think that parents and external influences are both important for the development of a
child
Use synonyms
. Because
Use synonyms
child
Suggestion
a child
the child
children
 can always learn new things from different people.

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Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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