IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The Internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. Although some of these changes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinions on this?

#internet #lives #decades #changes #effect #technology
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The Internet is a hub of knowledge through which
one
Use synonyms
 can get anything at anytime from anywhere. As it has
tranformed
given a completely different form or appearance
transformed
 the lives in a span of 30 to 40 years. Some believe that it has some negative changes, while others ponder that it has totally positive impact. I think it has more positive aspects rather than negative
one
Use synonyms
 which
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 will be discussing in the subsequent paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, advancement in net has brought some negative impact as it
increase
Suggestion
increases
 the
dependance
the state of relying on or being controlled by someone or something else
dependence
 of human being on it for several tasks.
In addition
Linking Words
, people are spending excess time on scrolling social media platforms
such
Linking Words
 as Instagram, Whatsapp and Facebook.
which
Suggestion
Which
 has filled the gap between relations. In a survey conducted by researchers, they said 70% of parents took
divource
the legal dissolution of a marriage
divorce
diverse
divorced
 because of
minor issue
Suggestion
a minor issue
 of chatting of their spouse with someone else and that
effect
the conscious subjective aspect of feeling or emotion
affect
 the family in a long run.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, there are
plethora
Suggestion
a plethora
 of positive changes which has improved the living standard of common men with the advancement of technology. As it lesser the work load at workplace and rise the
creditability
Suggestion
 of task.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many things can be done
simuantanelously
at the same instant
simultaneously
 as in manual way
one
Use synonyms
 has
excess
the right to enter
access
 to a single task at a
time but
Accept comma addition
time, but
 in automatic he/she could perform multiple tasks. It is cost effective and time saving. To conclude,
Internet
Suggestion
the Internet
 has drastically altered the living in a period of
few years
Suggestion
a few years
. Whether it is a negative or positive change overall has been an issue. In my opinion, it has some downside but
one
Use synonyms
 should not overlook the other side which is an important
one
Use synonyms
 to
considered
Suggestion
consider
.
Submitted by ishusharmajo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: