IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many museums charge admission fees while others are free. Do the advantages of charging people to visit a museum outweigh the disadvantages?

Many
museums
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 around the world require visitors to pay an
admission
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fee
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,
while
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 others allow free entry.
Although
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 charging visitors can create certain barriers, like discouraging people from visiting, I firmly believe that the advantages of having a stable income generally outweigh the disadvantages. Charging an entrance
fee
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 can have certain disadvantages. From the visitors’ point of view, ticket prices may discourage people from visiting
museums
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 altogether.
As a result
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,
museums
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 could experience a decline in visitor numbers, which may reduce their revenue and affect their ability to hire staff or
organize
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organise
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 exhibitions. In extreme cases,
this
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 could even lead to closure.
For example
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, if the
admission
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 cost is around $20, families, students, and those with lower incomes may find it hard to afford.
However
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, these issues are often addressed by
museums
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 through affordable pricing, discounts, or concession schemes. There are several significant benefits to charging an entrance
fee
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. Since the primary goal of a museum is to promote the enjoyment and sharing of cultural heritage, artefacts must be meticulously preserved from factors like light, dust, and accidental damage. The equipment and skilled professionals needed to safeguard these valuable items are often unattainable without public funding.
Additionally
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, many
museums
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 lack stable financial support.
For example
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,
museums
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 in the UK have faced funding cuts
due to
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 recent government policy changes.
As a result
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, without
admission
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 fees, many institutions would struggle to survive. In conclusion,
while
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admission
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 fees might deter some visitors, the advantages of having a reasonable cost far outweigh
this
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 drawback.
Therefore
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, charging an
admission
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fee
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 is an essential step in ensuring the preservation of cultural heritage and the continued survival of
museums
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 worldwide.

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task response
Task response: your view is clear, but add a direct answer in the first sentence of the intro and finish with a clear sum up that matches the question.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: begin each paragraph with a clear topic sentence. Use linking words to show order and connect ideas.
task response
The essay shows a clear view and tries to explain both sides.
coherence cohesion
There are good links between ideas, and a short conclusion.
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