IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

It is sometimes thought that people who travel outside of their own country are more tolerant and understanding of others. To what extent do you agree?

#people #travel #country
People who
travel
 outside of their country would have more experiences with knowing others people characteristic. People who visit foreign countries are more open-minded with the differences. I agree with the argument that people who
travel
 overseas are more tolerant and understands other better. When people
travel
 overseas for holiday, they have to face kind of situations that have not happened before. Living in
such
 unfamiliar situations makes people more adaptable with the differences. They will become tolerant of change or differences.
By contrast
, people who never visited other countries will be narrow-minded than people who
travel
 overseas. It is difficult for them to adapt with a kind of situations.
For
example if
Accept comma addition
example, if
 they met a foreigner. They do not know what will they do if the foreigners ask them for help. To conclude, people who have many experiences in travelling other countries are people who can
accepted
Suggestion
accept
 any kind of situations.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: