IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #health #service #treatments
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In today’s world
,
Accept space
,
along with food,
c
Accept space
,
loth and shelter,
health
Use synonyms
 services
also
Linking Words
 consider in
government
Use synonyms
’s duties.Many
health
Use synonyms
 issues are a
rising
advancing or becoming higher or greater in degree or value or status
rising
and cost to cope up with these diseases are extremely high
,
Accept space
,
thus
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 it b
ecome
Suggestion
becomes
difficult for g
eneral public
Suggestion
the general public
to avail appropriate medical treatments.I personally agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion. There are myriad of arguments to support my point.The
first
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 and foremost reason is the unequal distribution of income. As poor becoming poor and rich become richer
,
Accept space
,
there is n
eed
Suggestion
a need
for
government
Use synonyms
 to provide amenities to m
asses
Suggestion
the masses
under p
overty
Suggestion
the poverty
for their livelihood.
For example
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, a
Suggestion
an
Indian cricket player, Yuvraj Singh is a rich person,
h
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,
e was suffering blood c
ancer but
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cancer, but
he took medical treatment as he can afford it while thousands of poor cancer patients are dying.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, lack of hospitals in every v
illages
Suggestion
village
and towns.Owing to
this
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
travelling to long d
istance
Suggestion
distant
increases medical cost which b
ecome
Suggestion
becomes
h
urdle
Suggestion
a hurdle
for patients. To cope up, the
government
Use synonyms
 should open local medical clinics.
As a result
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 of
this
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, people can avail treatments at nearest as well it saves their cost. On the flip side, if the
government
Use synonyms
 s
pend
Suggestion
spends
whole money for providing
h
Use synonyms
ealth service,
Suggestion
health services
a health service
 there would be no money in
government
Use synonyms
 treasury.
Consequently
Linking Words
, in case of emergency like wars or natural disasters,
government
Use synonyms
 cannot do anything. To sum up, masses should help each other, but for poor p
eople
Accept comma addition
people, government
government
Use synonyms
 ought to provide free
health
Use synonyms
 services, it can take help of celebrities to contribute for fundings.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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