IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say the main way to be happy is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What are the other things in life that can make people happy?

#people #money #life
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A section of the society has an opinion that
money
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 is the main key to
happiness
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 and happy
life
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.
Money
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 is a requirement for livelihood. But it is not the only way to
happiness
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.
This
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 essay discusses how
money
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 can make people happy and what are the other aspects that can make people happy in
life
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. On one hand,
Money
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 plays a vital role in one's livelihood and in maintaining a standard of living. Earning
money
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 for Lower class families helps in feeding their family, educating their children and making them independent
in
Suggestion
of
 the society who
otherwise
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 would have been subjected to malnutrition and exploitation
for
Suggestion
of
 labour.
For example
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, a family of 6-7 members of a domestic servant, driver, cleaner depends on his/her earnings if they are the sole bread earners of the family. Their earnings feed the family and educates their
children which
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children, which
 will get
happiness
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 to them by considering the fact that they are in a position to afford food and education to the family.
On the other hand
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,
Money
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 is not the only aspect that can assure
happiness
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 in
life
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.
Money
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 might help in improving one's lifestyle. But
happiness
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 is not always proportional to the
money
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 earned.
Money
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 is necessary for investment
on
Suggestion
in
 materials that can be measured. But
happiness
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 is immeasurable.
For example
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, a man of a family works day and night, earning more than sufficient
money
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 for his family's needs and wants. But can it assure the
happiness
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 of the family? The amount of time the man spends with his family brings more joy and
happiness
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 to the members and the quality of time he spends with them is immeasurable and cannot be brought from
money
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. In conclusion,
although
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money
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 is a necessity for
measurable
Suggestion
measuring
happiness
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, it is not the main way to
happiness
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 in
life
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.
Happiness
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 depends on aspects more valuable than
money
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.
Submitted by ashik.sharan on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial stability
  • Security
  • Freedom
  • Pursue dreams and goals
  • Emergency funds
  • Experiences
  • Enjoyment
  • Quality of life
  • Improving
  • Purchases
  • Supporting
  • Economy
  • Creating jobs
  • Balance
What to do next:
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