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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing? Give some reasons and solutions for it.

#people #risk #health
In
this
 face-paced world, obesity is considered as a cause which led to health problems. In my opinion, there are several reasons of
this
 issue, and I will offer some solutions to tackle these problems.
Firstly
, sedentary life is a major cause of overweight.
For instance
, people rely on electronic devices to do everything due to technology advancement like online shopping,
thus
 they are usually lack of physical activities.
Secondly
, fast-food culture is another reason for obesity. Some research from hospitals illustrate fast-food is high in sodium, sugar and cholesterol, it can lead to unwanted weight gain after eating too much over a long time. There are two effective solutions to address of increasing average weight, and improving lifestyle is too sedentary. One way to resolve
this
 is to ensure that the encouraging companies and schools held some interesting activities for free
such
 as tennis competitions or fitness courses. By doing
this
, people will start doing some exercises, and weight could be declined. Another method of dealing with
this
 is by raising the tax on unhealthy food
also
 restricting the amount of unhealthy food are sold per day,
then
 people will not lure toward these products. In conclusion,
although
 resolving these health problems should spend a long time, I believe by putting a stop to advertise harmful food and promoting physical activities can decrease the number of people who suffered from disease attack.
Submitted by cnkin0820 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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