Some people think that the use of mobile (cell) phones should be banned in public places such as in libraries and shops and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays, with the development of technology,
phones
have become inseparable from
people
.
However
, some
people
think mobile should not allowed in public areas. In my opinion, I partially agree that mobile
phones
should be banned in public places. On the one hand, there are some negative aspects of using
phones
in commonality areas. First of all,
people
may hinder others when they use dials in public spaces. In libraries,
people
expect to have a silent atmosphere, so
people
use
phones
to research information or skim TikTok, which may cause many noisy sounds that bother other
people
.
For instance
, one person in the library uses a cell phone to play games or skim websites which may greatly disturb other students who are studying.
As a result
, using cell
phones
should be banned in public spaces.
On the other hand
, there are some other aspects things about using mobile
phones
that should be considered in public places. There is a consideration of emergencies.
For example
,
people
may face some emergency or dangerous things when they are outdoors, so cell
phones
are crucial tools for the community
such
as communication or calling the police.
Consequently
, mobile
phones
have positive aspects for
people
, and mobile
phones
are an indispensable part. In conclusion,
although
people
using mobile
phones
have some benefits, some negative impacts that should be noticed, so I partially agree that mobile
phones
should be banned in public places.
Submitted by hsmkashi on

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coherence cohesion
Consider diversifying your sentence structures for enhanced clarity and engagement.
task achievement
Use more precise vocabulary tailored to the context for a stronger argument.
coherence cohesion
Integrate a wider range of linking words to improve the flow between ideas.
task achievement
Try to include more detailed examples to support your points effectively.
task achievement
You have a clear thesis statement that sets a strong foundation for your essay.
task achievement
Strong concluding paragraph that encapsulates your stance effectively.
coherence cohesion
Good attempt at creating a logical flow of ideas to guide the reader's understanding.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • indispensable
  • disturbances
  • restrictions
  • justified
  • distraction
  • outright bans
  • zones
  • silent modes
  • communication
  • emergency situations
  • hindering
  • implementing
  • policy
  • respect
  • consideration
  • personal responsibility
  • blanket regulations
  • social etiquette
  • evolving norms
  • acceptable behavior
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