IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You have received a bill from a mobile phone (or cell phone) company for international call charges relating to a time when you did not use your phone for international calls. Write a letter to the company, complaining about this, giving your reasons, asking for the bill to be changed

#bill #phone #cell #company #charges #time
Dear Sir or Madam, I have been a subscriber of your services for the
last
 5 years.
Last
 month, like always I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
received a bill via e-mail with details on the amount of money I was charged for each call and SMS. I noticed that the
overall
 bill amount was much higher than
usually
Change the word
usual
show examples
. After investigating I found out that there were several calls in the list marked as international, specifically Spain.
This
 is a mistake
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because during
this
 time I was in Turkey. I had visited Spain a week before that and I may presume your system did not log the region change after that. I tried calling technical support. After providing details about the situation, the specialist suggested I write a formal complaint via e-mail from the address I use to
login
Correct your spelling
log
show examples
 into the Internet client service portal. Please investigate
this
 incident on your side, correct the bill and ensure I am not charged
extra
Correct article usage
an extra
show examples
 87$ extra
this
 month
due to
 a mistake in your processing system. My phone number is +90-506-402-0019. Sincerely yours, Alexander Federyakov
Submitted by fednastya000 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clear paragraphing by introducing white spaces between them for better readability and organization.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices (linking words) to connect sentences and ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
Provide more details about the dates of travels and the billing period in question to add clarity to the complaint.
task achievement
While the writing tone is suitable, work on a more formal closure to your letter -- for example, 'I trust your prompt attention to this matter will resolve the issue swiftly.'

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Billing discrepancy
  • Inaccurate charges
  • Customer service
  • Billing cycle
  • Itemized statement
  • Rectification
  • Resolving billing issues
  • Goodwill gesture
  • Accuracy in billing
  • Proactive communication
  • Service provider
  • Customer satisfaction
  • Adjustment of charges
  • Billing department
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