Some people feel unsafe either staying at home or going out. What are the possible reasons for this? What can be done to address this issue?
Many
people
could not feel secure not only when they go out, but also
in their homes. Perhaps the major problem
we need to deal with is the levels of violence. The second reason could be some people
have some psychological problems.
Lately, the rate of the
violence is increasing day by day and it is a real threat to everyone. Correct article usage
apply
People
can meet
Verb problem
see
this
gang-related violence on the
social media or TV. After watching Correct article usage
apply
such
crimes, people
understand that not only going out,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
staying home is also
dangerous. Another reason could be some people
’s unsafe feelings are stemming
from their psychological Wrong verb form
stem
problem
. Being a witness Fix the agreement mistake
problems
of
some crimes could result Change preposition
to
on
Change preposition
in
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
problems
Change preposition
of problems
about
Change preposition
in
people
’s psychology
. If anyone observes a crime in Add an article
the neighborhood
a neighborhood
neighborhood
area, Change the spelling
neighbourhood
for instance
, the one understand
thatChange the verb form
understands
,
it is Remove the comma
apply
real
danger and Correct article usage
a real
psychology
do
not let him or her Correct subject-verb agreement
does
to
feel safe.
A clear solution to the Change the verb form
apply
problem
is for the government to increase the number of police. So, it
is priority of the police is to Correct pronoun usage
apply
safe
the civil Replace the word
save
people
and people
believe their policemen. Thus
, it could create safety fells on
Change preposition
for
people
when they see policemen out, also
near their house
. An effective method of resolving Fix the agreement mistake
houses
psychological
Add an article
the psychological
problem
of Fix the agreement mistake
problems
people
is to organize some free psychology
centers
. It could be the best way to deal with the Change the spelling
centres
problem
sharing
some information about these Change preposition
of sharing
centers
on TV or mass media Change the spelling
centres
for attracting
Change preposition
to attract
people
to
there. Via the Change preposition
apply
centers
Add a comma
centers,
people
could cope with the problem
.
In conclusion, by increasing the number of policemen and organizing some psychology
centers
we can also
solve this
problem
.Submitted by aytekin.yolcuyeva on
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task response
Ensure that the essay addresses all aspects of the task prompt including possible reasons for feeling unsafe at home or when going out, as well as the actions that can be taken to address this issue.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear introduction that presents the main idea of the essay and a conclusion that summarizes the key points and reiterates the proposed solutions.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.