IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You have a full-time job and are also doing a part-time evening course. You now find that you cannot continue the course. Write a letter to the course tutor. In your letter, describe the situation explain why you cannot continue at this time say what action you would like to take

#job #course #tutor #situation #time #action
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Sir/Madam I am writing
this
 letter to inform you that I want to drop out of The trading course. Currently, I am working as a senior Data Analyst at Krishna Infotech,
also
 It Is a very demanding job.
Moreover
, I have to work around the clock to meet the deadline of the project which I am currently working on. Let me explain to you my situation, as I do not have my personal car
due to
 that I have to travel by public transport and It Is a very hectic task for me.
In addition
, I have to travel more than 2 hours to just reach the university for my course. I would like to drop out of
this
 course and I am planning to study trading from online courses
instead
. In fact, I am planning to purchase a trading manual from one very reputed forex trader. I look forward to receiving your reply soon. Yours Faithfully Biren.
Submitted by birenp046 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
You have adequately described the situation and explained why you cannot continue the course. However, slight elaboration on the nature of your job demands and how they influence your inability to continue could enhance the task achievement.
coherence cohesion
While the letter generally flows well, consider using more transitional phrases between paragraphs to further improve the logical structure.
task achievement
The letter maintains a formal and appropriate tone throughout, which is suitable for the purpose and audience.
coherence cohesion
Your paragraphing is clear and each paragraph presents a single idea, contributing to the coherence of the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: