IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think studenti should study the science of food and how to prepare it.Others thinks students should spend time on important subjects .Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

There is no denying the fact that pupils need to learn in their schools how to prepare
as well as
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 improve their skills in cooking ,
whereas
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 other people believe that the pupils should have extra time on the crucial
subjects
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both sides
in addition
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, I talk about my personal point of view.
To begin
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 with, there are many reasons why some
students
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 should concentrate on the science of
food
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 .
Firstly
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 most
students
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 depend on their family when eating
food
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 because they do not have any skills to prepare their meals, especially the boys who if they feel starving usually Order
food
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 from restaurants
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for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
 example : these days many teenagers eat fast
food
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 more than healthy
food
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 . In other words,in recent years ,it can be observed that there has been a growth in consumer spending their money to pay for junk
food
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 .So from my perspective, I would say that the schools when add Some classes science of foods make
students
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 develop their skills
Change preposition
in
show examples
cooking and depend on them when they make theories meals. In terms of spending more time on important
subjects
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 like sciences, it is possible that teaching crucial
subjects
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 could help
students
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 to obtain more opportunities and jobs than focusing on preparing
food
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 ,
therefore
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 , many schools are not interested in teaching their pupils how to prepare
food
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for instance
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: In my experience when I was studying there are many colleges when was discussed about the
food
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 they prefer buying. Fast
food
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 rather than prepared . In conclusion, in spite of most
students
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 prefer important
subjects
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 more than the science of
food
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 ,
However
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 in my opinion when
students
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 know how to prepare their
food
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 they will be depending on themselves

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coherence
Make sure to clearly outline your main points in a structured way.
cohesion
Ensure all sentences flow logically from one to the next to improve readability.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments, particularly on how cooking skills can positively impact students' lives.
task response
You have presented both sides of the argument, which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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