In many countries, as people are earning more these days they are also spending money in buying more and more items. Do you think it is a positive or negative development

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Over the years, people are spending profusely owing to higher incomes.

However

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, as the salary hikes, people gradually become addicted to shopping and saves less. In my opinion,

this

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can be detrimental to society as people will never be at peace and always be lured to earn more

money

Use synonyms

Firstly

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, as the monetary situation improves, the lifestyle of the people becomes expensive and they start investing in multifarious high-end products. To illustrate, many people buy new cars when their salary is increased, though the old car was functional and fulfilling all the requirements.

Secondly

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, a vicious circle of never-ending wishes for materialistic things gets started, when a person is overindulged in shopping.

Therefore

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, at the end of the month, they do not have funds in their banks, no matter how huge the salary is.

For Instance

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, countless people use credit cards at month end as they are short of

money

Use synonyms

Finally

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, savings for the future is minimized because of the extravagant style of living.

Moreover

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, incorporating the king-size lifestyle is easy, but compromising lavish lifestyle during monetary issues is extremely painful.

For example

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, many businessmen commit suicide after a business failure, as they are not able to degrade their standard of living.

However

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, the circulation of

money

Use synonyms

increases in the market, as the number of customer increases, but

this

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cannot suffice for the problems people go through by overspending. In Conclusion, people should not get trapped in the cycle of earning high and spending high. Attaining a balance between spending and saving

money

Use synonyms

is the main key to lead a quality life.

adepojufred2012Wed Jan 15 2020

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
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Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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