IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is considered by some that teaching social rules for children in
school
Use synonyms
 to have a more beneficial effect to make an obligate person in the community, while there are others who think that parents can teach social criteria to children making better members of
society
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I believe that
school
Use synonyms
 as an effective social section of a country can persuade children to become good members of
society
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, many think that learning social rules in the home with children through the parent’s supervision could make a better civilization member.
In other words
Linking Words
, children from early edge start to learn environmental laws and familiarization with basic principles leads to children have a deep understanding of social values.
Also
Linking Words
, parents individually have been getting acquainted with a child in terms of personality and,
therefore
Linking Words
, behaviour of them could be more impressed children to internalize wrathful things.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, teaching valuable social rules by the
school
Use synonyms
 in order to make a good member of the community has an appropriate result, according to some. The
school
Use synonyms
 has a similar aspect with
society
Use synonyms
 from the point of a management system, and
therefore
Linking Words
 children from all walks of life come there to pursue their education goals need to behave according to some criteria in the same
society
Use synonyms
.
Accordingly
Linking Words
, determine some principals
besides
Linking Words
 teaching corresponded law in
this
Linking Words
 circumstance could be considered as a great commence to use of practical social rules in a similar
society
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, when children learn to set their time in keeping with
school
Use synonyms
 disciplines, practically they learn how they should carry out their obligations in
society
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, in my opinion, I believe that teaching social rules that one may make enough compatibility of child behaviour in
society
Use synonyms
 have a sufficient impression on child preparing them to get better homogeneity as a member of
society
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by arashazhang on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: