More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people think a solution can be to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent times, the issue of obesity has emerged as a matter of significant concern to the general public. Some individuals maintain that increasing the

price

Use synonyms

of fattening foods is an effective way to solve

this

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problem. Personally, I partly agree with

this

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suggestion, as some reasons will be explained in

this

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essay. On the one hand, people should

recognize

Use the right word

recognise

show examples

that raising the

price

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of unhealthy

food

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may help reduce their consumption. A very important point is that many residents, especially the young generations, tend to buy fast

food

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because of its convenience and affordable

price

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This

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means that these higher prices could discourage them from purchasing

such

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products. Another key point is that

price

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policies can encourage consumers to turn to healthier options,

such

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as fruits and vegetables.

This

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is because of the fact that people often make

food

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choices based on affordability.

On the other hand

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, it is equally important to consider that

price

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increases alone cannot completely address the problem of obesity.

Firstly

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, wealthier individuals may continue to consume fast

food

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regardless of cost.

This

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suggests that other measures,

such

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as education and public awareness campaigns, are

also

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necessary to promote healthier eating habits.

In addition

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, governments should provide affordable, healthy alternatives

such

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subsidized

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subsidised

show examples

fresh produce or public sports facilities. The underlying reason is that long-term solutions require not only discouraging bad habits but

also

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encouraging positive ones. In conclusion,

while

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it is true that boosting the cost of fattening foods can help decrease consumption, it is

also

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undeniable that

this

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strategy alone is not sufficient. In my point of view, I believe that a balanced approach is necessary to address

this

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problem effectively.

quynhtranhbh

Dec 30, 2023

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task response

Be clear about your view from the start and keep it in mind in all parts. Add a clear example for each reason.

development

Give more detail on how price rise can change choices and who pays. Include more steps or policy points.

coherence

Use better links to connect ideas inside each paragraph. Start with a topic sentence and end with a short tie to the next idea.

grammar

Fix small grammar points, e.g., 'In my view' not 'In my point of view'; check plural and article use.

lexical

Add some varied words above the basic ones, but keep simple; avoid repeating 'fattening foods' too much.

conclusion

End with a clear final line that states your view.

structure

Clear structure with intro, two body paragraphs and a conclusion.

cohesion

Shows a balanced view and uses 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand'.

clarity

The writing is easy to follow and the idea flow is logical.

task focus

The topic is well kept and the answer fits the task.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
overweight
fattening foods
calorie-dense
healthier food choices
taxation
economic implications
social implications
subsidies
nutritional education
public health campaigns
nanny state
individual's right
consumer behavior
preventative measures

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