Nowadays a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Lately, a traditional medication is a choice for many people rather than going to the hospital and having a consultation with a doctor.
However
, it could be a negative development for two reasons:
First,
traditional treatment usually takes a long time to recover.
Second,
many
health
problems,
such
as heart disease or cancer, need to be handled by professionals.
Alternative
medicines usually
will be taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
time like in months or even years to help the patient fully recover. The reason is that most
alternative
treatments use natural resources as the cure. Based on research about GERD patients from the NUS Medicine Research Centre, ginger and turmeric are good natural drinks to reduce the symptoms. But, they need to be consumed every single day for around three to four weeks,
while
generic drugs only need to take about one or two pills to help the patient heal.
Moreover
,
alternative
medicine cannot handle some
health
issues and needs severe and professional action. Based on the data from the World
Health
Organization, the number of cancer and heart disease patients has increased by about 8% since 2016, and 34% of the sufferers choose to take
alternative
treatments
instead
of chemotherapy and surgery. Research from Universitas Airlangga (UNAIR) shows that
alternative
medicine become the popular cause of offering “less-painful” therapy. Prof. Sebastian from UNAIR said traditional treatment using natural sources cannot fully recover the
health
issues;
instead
, it can only hold the symptoms for a
while
.
Therefore
, going to the doctor is still the best option.
To conclude
, choosing
alternative
medicines is a negative development
due to
a lot of time to recover by using natural ones, and
also
traditional treatment cannot fully heal some diseases.
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task achievement
Ensure that all ideas are fully elaborated and consistently supported. For example, discuss further how specific alternative treatments might influence general healthcare trends to effectively close the gap between main points.
coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the linkage between sentences. You can employ a wider range of cohesive devices to better link ideas across paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position on the topic, with a well-articulated stance on alternative medicines.
task achievement
Good use of research and examples to explain the main points, improving the relevance and specificity of examples.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical progression of ideas from traditional to alternative medicine within the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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