IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Public museums and art galleries are not necessary because nowadays people can see the historical objects and works of art in these places on the Internet. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#museums #art #galleries #people #objects #works #places #internet
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It is argued by some that virtual visiting of museums and
art
Use synonyms
 galleries on the
internet
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 can be substituted with the usual one. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion and think a hectic lifestyle spontaneously leads to finding a new way to visit those places.
First
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 of all, the style of life nowadays has been doing some limitations on people's behaviours rather than types of entertainment and allocate appropriate
time
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 to visit museums and
art
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 galleries cannot situate in priorities.
For instance
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, when people from all walks of life want to work in a long
time
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 to earn enough income corresponds with living costs, finding enough
time
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 for spending on
such
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 hobbies does not affordable
therefore
Linking Words
 tackling a way to respond to
this
Linking Words
 matter will be possible in virtual visiting through the
internet
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. Another point to consider is that accessibility of some museums and
art
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 galleries because of cost and destination is considered a big challenge for visitors, which can be managed with new technology
such
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 as simulation of them on the
internet
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.
For example
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, In Iran, a big section of people have not the opportunity to travel Egyptian pyramids or Louver Museum,
therefore
Linking Words
, technologies of artificial intelligence and virtual reality can simulate reality to give a complete sensation of reality. To conclude, I strongly believe that simulation of Museums and
art
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 galleries, on the
internet
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, is more beneficial than visiting those places because it saves
time
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 and money and
on the other hand
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, these technologies discard the need for travelling to a far destination.
Submitted by arashazhang on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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