At the present time, the population of some countries includes large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation

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The population problem has existed for decades and seems to become more serious day after day. At present, there is commonly a decline in the average age of people in nearly every country.

However

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, some observers think young adults cause a larger variety of social problems than older men. Generally, I agree with the

first

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view. In the

first

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place, young adults are more able to drive the macro-economy. Obviously, young people appear to demand more consumer items than older adults.

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, they are quite concerned about working. In

this

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condition, most young men work until midnight for promotion. At the same time, they spend their salaries on houses, trips and entertaining, etc.

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, young adults increase the GDP from both sides.

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, young people help save tons of money for the financial department, since the youth have less demand for social welfare.

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, governments have to spend a lot of old men, children’s education and medical care.

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a world full of young humans is not quite perfect, the key point is that the social problem is easy to solve. Some may propose that the increasing number of young people will aggravate employment pressure.

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, reports show that most innovators are under 30.

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, it is a trend that young companies are offering hundreds of jobs today.

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, those new companies have restructured many kinds of industries by hiring well-educated young people. To sum up, the young generation, represents the future of a nation. They provide power to drive

this

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world in all aspects, including the economy, culture and society. It is even more important that they are willing to reform the old stubborn rules and work for a better future.

Submitted by adepojufred2012 on Thu Jan 16 2020

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When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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