It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to media. Di you agree that this is the cause of juvenile crime? Solutions to deal with it

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Introduction

It is

undeniable fact

Suggestion

an undeniable fact

that

escalating rate

Suggestion

the escalating rate

escalating rates

crime

Use synonyms

committed by youth has become

moot concern

Suggestion

a moot concern

due to watching vulgar and misleading content of media. So, it is opined that the high rate of juvenile delinquency is associated with aggression displayed by

media

Suggestion

the media

. I agree with

this

Linking Words

notion.

This

Linking Words

essay intends to discuss the causes and put forth the arguments to support my views in the upcoming paragraphs before reaching reasoned conclusion.

Body paragraph 1

To commence with, youngsters are highly influenced by the media. In the media contents, it is shown that heroes are violent and they are rewarded for their

behavior

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

. So, adolescents want to follow their footprints to get huge name and fame.

In other words

Linking Words

, they prone to mimic the

behavior

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

of heroes as they believe that by carrying weapons, they can resolve any issues.

Additionally

Linking Words

, children watch various television programs as it promotes violence too they start to see it as

way

Suggestion

a way

of life

then

Linking Words

imitates the

behavior

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

of violent heroes.

As a result

Linking Words

, they get depressed and for resolving

problem

Suggestion

the problem

, vulnerable young commit

crime

Use synonyms

Body paragraph 2

However

Linking Words

, there are effective solutions to the

crime

Use synonyms

committed by adolescents.

Firstly

Linking Words

, it is the duty of parents that they should supervise their children and monitor their actions and when children commit any

crime

Use synonyms

mistake

Accept comma addition

mistake, then

then

Linking Words

parents should teach them about the right path

Moreover

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

issue can

also

Linking Words

be mitigated by mentioning and educating the youth about the consequences of their actions. Children should use media in the supervision of parents.

For

Linking Words

instance parents

Accept comma addition

instance, parents

should pay attention to

age limitations

Suggestion

the age limitations

some

one or some or every or all without specification

any

kind of movies. So, children can watch content according to their age limits. Another effective solution is to provide counselling and therapy for the troubled children who have had

problem

Suggestion

problems

a problem

in the past and have a hard time. All the above points should be implemented to successfully decrease juvenile

crime

Use synonyms

Conclusion

To conclude,

although

Linking Words

media

Suggestion

the media

puts

adverse effect

Suggestion

an adverse effect

on the holistic development of children due to

this

Linking Words

they commit

crime

Use synonyms

. It is

duty

Suggestion

the duty

of parents to take easy steps and supervise the children to lessen

this

Linking Words

issue. 2

Jan 17, 2020

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Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

5.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

348 words

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It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to media. Di you agree that this is the cause of juvenile crime? Solutions to deal with it

Is effort more important than talent? Do you agree or disagree.

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who educate their children at home instead of sending their children to school. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development.

in some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live it. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Torism plays an important role in the modern world. It considered as the major source of income. Likewise several disadvantages too. In these essay we discuss about the posyive and negative effect of tourism.