IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people feel that entertainers are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of job should be highly paid?

#people #entertainers #money #job
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In the contemporary times, entertainment areas has admittedly gained huge popularity. In
this
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 competitive world, numerous people think that entertainers, whether movie star or eminent sports person, has paid more than other professions.
However
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, I completely disagreed with the assertion that entertainers are paid more irrespective of their work. There are several significant factors which enhanced their
income
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.
This
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 essay will hash out my viewpoints of disagreement along with other jobs which should be paid more. In
this
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 fast-paced life, entertainment has considered as one of the enjoyable and recreational activity which people prefer during their leisure time. Movie and sports are most top rated events enjoyed by the majority of citizens. It takes lots of hard work by the movie star to act in any movie or show.
Additionally
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, they represent their nation worldwide, which provides glory and prestige to the nation as well as help to increase national economic
income
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. To cite a suitable example, sports person undergoes through several training and competitions to get selected in national and international games
such
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 as Asian Games, Olympic Games. Apart from the entertainment industry, the government should take into consideration the
income
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 of the armed forces members as they selflessly serve the country and guarantee safety of the commoners.
Besides
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this
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, medical science employees should be paid off equally, because physicians and surgeons devote their huge amount of time to provide treatments to the patients. To conclude, having elaborated above view points, enormous people see the entertainers lifestyle as lavish and luxurious.
However
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, in my perspective, professionals like entertainers, doctors, militants, deserve good
income
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 because their hard work should pay off.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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