IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people contend that all young people should attend university after high school, while others maintain that this is not always the best option. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience where appropriate.

#people #university #school #option
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some feel that all young people should attend
university
, while others point
out
Accept comma addition
out, this
this
 may not be a suitable path for everyone. I am of the latter view. I believe that career training in other areas may serve the interests of many young people far better than undergraduate studies. On the one hand, there is convincing support for
university
education
 for all.
Firstly
, a liberal
education
 encourages the broadening of the mind.
For example
, students of history, art and literature tend to be tolerant and thoughtful and fulfil useful service careers in teaching, journalism, public relations and politics. Encouraging everyone to
enroll
register formally as a participant or member
enrol
 in
university
 would
also
 push people towards lucrative professional roles,
such
 as those held by doctors and lawyers, positions that
also
 bring great social prestige.
However
, despite these benefits, universal tertiary
education
 would be problematic at both the societal and personal levels. It should be noted that the building of houses and offices, the transporting of goods, and the production of furniture and appliances are essential to society and require skilled manual workers and tradespeople.
Further
, many young men and women naturally excel when working with their hands. Forcing them to study
disciplines
Suggestion
the disciplines
 of abstract thought would clearly be a waste of their time and potential.
Thus
, encouraging people to choose a path that allows them to invest in their natural strengths is better for both the individual and society as a whole. Overall, it can be seen that
although
 pursuing a
university
education
 has many merits, it may be more of a hindrance than a help to some people. In my own case, being very bad with my
hands but
Accept comma addition
hands, but
 quite handy with words,
university
Suggestion
the university
 was the right option for me. As
this
 essay has shown, everyone is different and no one course in life fits all.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: