Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on young children. Do you agree or disagree?

#computer #effects #children

In recent years, computer usage has become a part of

everday

found in the ordinary course of events

everyday

life even for a child. Some believe that routine

usage

Suggestion

used

by young children can lead to more drawbacks than benefits for them. I would completely agree

Suggestion

with

this

opinion and

further

would discuss the supporting points

Suggestion

my views. To start with, many health issues are alarmingly increasing in children.

This

is because they spend

most time

Suggestion

the most time

indoors rather than outdoors, that could

leads

Suggestion

lead

to obesity.

Furthermore

, sedentary lifestyle leads to more chronic disease like hypertension, diabetes.

For instance

, latest New York study shows that 85 percent of adolescent suffering from obesity spend more than 2 hours a day on

computer

Suggestion

the computer

a computer

Therefore

, we are inviting young to chronic diseases by giving them freedom to used unlimited access.

Secondly

new generation

Suggestion

a new generation

the new generation

is becoming more unemployed and lonely.

This

is due to easy accessibility to

internet

Suggestion

the internet

that they tend to become inclined computers rather than studying.

Furthermore

, more time wasting is done on games, music or online videos.

Furthermore

, they are living in

more virtual world

Suggestion

a more virtual world

than in

actual world

Suggestion

the actual world

and becoming familiar with other fellow mates.

For example

, based on Oxford survey,

Suggestion

1980s every adolescent would have 4 or 5 good

friend

Accept comma addition

friend, however

however

in 2000s

this

rate has decreased to 1 or 2 friends only. These could

also

lead to

more incidence

Suggestion

more incidents

of depression and suicidal tendency among them. To conclude, everyday usage of computers could not only lead to health issues like obesity, hypertension,

diabetes etc

Accept comma addition

diabetes, etc.

diabetes etc.

, but

also

increasing rate

Suggestion

the increasing rate

of unemployment, depression and suicides in new generation.

Hence

, limited and monitored access is very essential.

Sun Jan 19 2020

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Screen time
Sedentary lifestyle
Physical inactivity
Cognitive development
Internet addiction
Cyberbullying
Inappropriate content
Digital literacy
Virtual learning environments
Parental controls
Moderation
Online safety
Tech-savvy
E-learning
Information technology
Eye strain
Social skills
Multitasking
Interactive education
Health repercussions

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Using a computer every day can have more negative than positive effects on young children. Do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that foreign films and programmes have a negative impact on local culture. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Mobile phones and smart devices should be restricted and that young people should not be allowed to have them. Only people of a certain age should have permission to own them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this proposal? What is your opinion?

'Failure is proof that desire wasn't strong enough'. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

The breakthroughs in medical science are by far the most significant advances in world society over the last two centuries.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?