IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

owned and rented accommodations describe overall changes

#accommodations #changes
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The bar graph shows the proportion of owned and rented households in two countries, England and Wales from 1918 to 2011. Over the whole period, it can be seen the number of
owned
Suggestion
owning
 accommodations rose while its counterpart decreased steadily. The proportion of rented households stood at 87%-
ish
have the quality of being; (copula, used with an adjective or a predicate noun)
is
 at 1918 while
owned
Suggestion
owning
 households
takes
Suggestion
take
 about 21% in that same year. The number of rented accomodation decreased steadily over the period and accounted for 50% of households in 1971.
In contrast
Linking Words
, 1918 to 1971 experienced increase in
owned
Suggestion
owning
 accommodations, causing it to reach 50% in 1971. 1971
then
Linking Words
 became the crossover point of the two variables. From 1971 to 2001, the proportion of
owned
Suggestion
owning
 households continued to rise and reached its peak in 2001 with 69%.
This
Linking Words
 led to the fall of
owned
Suggestion
owning
 accommodation with 31%
at
Suggestion
in
of
 the same year. A slight opposite trend occurred to both varieties at the end, with 65% for
owned
Suggestion
owning
 accommodation and 35% for its counterpart in 2011.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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