IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

People today do not feel safe either at home or when they are out. What are the causes? What are the solutions?

#people #home
Nowadays, there has been a rising concern about the security when people are staying at home or going out. In
this
 essay, I will outline some reasons causing people worry about their safety day by day as well as the ways to solve these problems. One of the main reasons is that there are more and more cases of burglary or vandalism. It happens more often, especially when people spend their holidays and leave their house unmanned. After coming back, they find out that they have lost their valuable belongings at home or their properties have been damaged. Beside that, due to the significant increase of private
transportation
 recently, the roads are more condensed with cars or motorbikes leading to accidents occurring more frequently than ever before. Many accidents that lead to serious injuries or fatalities of travellers have been observed.
However
, there are several solutions to help people deal with these problems.
Firstly
, authorities should strengthen the security system by deploying more officers to the habitat areas as well as installing more CCTVs for surveillance footage. Levelling education and reducing unemployment rate
also
 assist to reduce crimes remarkably.
Secondly
, public
transportation
 needs to develop more to meet the daily demand so that people freely switch to use buses or trains which are the safest means of
transportation
. The less private
transportation
 on the street, the fewer accidents happen. In conclusion, even though many problems make people not feel safe in their own residence or in public, there are a number of possible solutions to counteract these problems.
Submitted by phuoc.phanpla on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: