Some people believe that children should do sports so that they will grow up as healthy adults, but others feel sports are just about enjoying yourself. Discuss these both views and give your own opinion.
Despite the fact that it has been pointed out by some that every young child ought to be encouraged to do exercise, so they are able to become an adult with a good health condition, other people argue that the aim of doing sports is just enjoying themselves. Personally, I completely agree with the former idea as countless benefits will be
raised
to young Verb problem
given
children
when they are participating in physical activities.
On the one hand, some individuals, including me, opine that Use synonyms
children
should be motivated to do workouts. The reason is that taking part in physical activities can enhance people’s immune Use synonyms
system
and Fix the agreement mistake
systems
builds
a strong body, which lowers the risk of catching several illnesses. Correct subject-verb agreement
build
As a result
, when an epidemic occurs, young Linking Words
children
who Use synonyms
do
exercise every day are far less likely to be infected than those who rarely work out, which has advantages Verb problem
apply
to
their physical well-being. Change preposition
for
For instance
, a huge number of parents who ask their sons and daughters to attend a tennis club say that before starting Linking Words
practising
tennis, their Replace the word
to practise
children
always got the normal flu every winter and spring, which was quite frustrating. Use synonyms
However
, after playing tennis every week, their Linking Words
children
’s health conditions have improved, leading to them growing up healthy.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, other individuals suggest that experiencing the feeling is the purpose of taking part in workouts. Linking Words
This
is because a vast majority of sports are stimulating and exciting, and if Linking Words
children
play a sport on a regular basis, they will be distracted by the sport for a long period of time. When these young students are studying, they are more likely to think about the skills or techniques of the sports, which is extremely detrimental to their study, Use synonyms
thus
resulting in poor academic performance. Linking Words
For instance
, a significant number of teachers present that several young pupils are experiencing academic problems after they join the local swimming community as they need to practice swimming four times per week, which negatively affects their academic progress.
In conclusion, people may vary in their opinion about whether young individuals should be motivated to work out or not, I am of the opinion that every single child ought to participate in physical activities since it benefits them to build a strong and healthy body Linking Words
while
growing up.Linking Words
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that main points are not only introduced clearly but are also followed by supporting details that directly relate to them, maintaining a close connection between points throughout the essay.
task achievement
The second body's paragraph example about swimming might be simplified or clarified to strengthen its relevance to the argument of sports as a distraction from academics.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion by presenting both views and offering a clear stance from the writer.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion is strong, summarizing the essay's main arguments while clearly reaffirming the author’s opinion.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples, such as the mention of children attending tennis clubs and their health improvements, enhance the essay's arguments.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.