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Band 6

People who decide on a career path early in their lives and keep to it are more likely to have a satisfying working life than those who change jobs frequently.To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

#people #career #path #lives #life #change #jobs
Perception of career satisfaction differs for each person. Climbing up the ladder and gaining executive positions might be the goal of some
while
 others might get more satisfaction from having various experiences from different jobs. I believe having a satisfying
work-lifelife
Correct your spelling
work-life life
work-lifeline
 depends on what your goals are in your life. Deciding what you want career-wise at an early stage helps you plan your
path
 and figure out strategies to achieve that goal.
Moreover
, if your goal is to have a higher position in your workplace,
this
 means investing time and effort in that company. Often,
this
path
 offers stability, security and, predictability not only in the progress of your career but
also
 to the people who you will have in your life. Choosing
this
 means you will have a rough timeline of your career.
However
,
this
 choice means you are putting all your eggs in one basket, meaning that you have more to lose if something doesn't go
according to
 plan. Despite
this
 risk, many people often choose
this
path
 for the security it provides.
In contrast
, changing your job frequently often leads to uncertainty.
Furthermore
, there is the struggle of acclimating to a new environment and adjusting to the attitudes of new co-workers.
Nevertheless
, it has advantages.
This
path
 leads you to unique experiences and allows you to learn various skills.
Moreover
, it gives you connections and resources other people might not have. In conclusion, having a satisfying
work-lifelife
Correct your spelling
work-life life
work-lifeline
 depends on what your goals and preferences are. I recommend that you choose a
path
 where you can see yourself
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
happy and content.
Submitted by erickacasandra.abas on

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task achievement
To enhance task response, try to incorporate specific examples from either personal experience or broader knowledge to reinforce your points.
coherence cohesion
To further improve coherence and cohesion, work on creating smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs to improve the logical flow.
task achievement
Consider rephrasing certain ideas to make them clearer and more concise, thereby increasing the overall comprehensibility of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly sets up the discussion and introduces the main argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear conclusion that summarizes your viewpoint well.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • career path
  • job satisfaction
  • professional goals
  • climb the career ladder
  • develop expertise
  • long-term commitment
  • financial security
  • varied experiences
  • prevent monotony
  • job security
  • career progression
  • personal preferences
  • industry dynamics
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