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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that universities should make sport a compulsory module on all degree courses as rates of obesity are getting higher and higher. To what extent do you agree?

#people #universities #sport #module #courses #rates #obesity
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Before the advent of smartphones, laptops and other electronic devices, people spent healthier
Use synonyms
life-style
a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes
lifestyle
 because of a smaller number of diseases. It was because, they enjoyed different kinds of physical exercises regularly. Unfortunately, after the arrival of significant technologies, people have engaged too much and forget the important physical practice, triggering
obesity
Use synonyms
 and other diseases. For the sake of eradication, people reckon, students must enjoy with sports activities in every institution and it must be an essential module for them. My sentiments exactly!
with
Suggestion
With
 the provided statement and through
this
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 essay, I will highlight some of the significance in
this
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 regard.
Firstly
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, the prospect of sports as a compulsory module will bring a good control on the
diets
the event of dying or departure from life
deaths
 of the students. By
this
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i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 mean, juveniles will be able to burn more calories when they involve themselves in multiple sports activities which keep them from the severity of
obesity
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.
Furthermore
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, burned calories will be the source of having a great appetite, which on the whole a good sign for their healthier
life
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. It can only be done by the introduction of courses in the university related to sports by which they will be taught about the strong diets that play a significant role to make
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life
Suggestion
live
 healthy and wealthy.
Secondly
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, sports will make the stressful-minds of the students to get fresh and relax while ultimately lead them in their valuable academic status. As we know, children are mostly remained under-pressure from their study side which could create a disastrous consequence for their everyday
life
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. Due to sports events, they can able to alleviate the unfavourable results from both physical
life
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 and
academic side
Suggestion
the academic side
. Research showed that allowing the teenagers to take part in their desire sports events, leads to
happy
Suggestion
happier
 and healthier
life
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 with minimum daily
life
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 stress.
On the other hand
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,
this
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 can create an adverse effect
in
Suggestion
on
 the students-
life
Use synonyms
 in a way that they will start focusing on their interested side
that is
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 definitely sports and make them academically weaker. To be more precise, sports should not be the compulsory module for them
instead
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 university staffs should give more concentration in the educational perspective. It is supposed that once you will be able to make your future career, the whole
life
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 will be spared to play sports. To sum up, it is to say that there is a huge factor in
the higher
Suggestion
the high
the highest
 rate of
obesity
Use synonyms
 in the form of electronic devices, making students to dull physically and academically too. One of the solutions in
this
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 regard is to teach sports as a course which ultimately help them in having not only a good grip in their daily diets but
also
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 make their minds to remain fresh and active. I personally believe that
this
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 step in the form of sports courses should be taken by every university without any delay to get a control on
obesity
Use synonyms
, stopping it to become worsening.
Submitted by ikramullahkhan1258121996 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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