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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The responsibility of bringing up children should be shared equally between mother and father. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#responsibility #children #mother #father
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A wise man once said: “raising children is the most difficult job in the world”. Because of
that people
Accept comma addition
that, people
 are
devided
separated into parts or pieces
divided
decided
 who should be more responsible about children and their growth mother or father. In
this
Linking Words
 essay we will discuss
both
Use synonyms
 opinion and answer
this
Linking Words
 debate. On one hand, some people argue that the mother should take a the majority share in taking care of the
childern
a young person of either sex
children
. Their merit is based on the fact that
moms
Suggestion
 have a natural tendency to be more caring and loving. A recent study conducted by the university of Rome found that
famillies
a social unit living together
families
 with a non working
mom
informal term for a mother
mum
, who are
main sponsor
Suggestion
the main sponsor
main sponsors
 of the children have a happier life, and the sons/daughters are growing healthier and have a better scores at school.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it was found that mothers in
such
Linking Words
famillies
a social unit living together
families
 are less
stressfull
extremely irritating to the nerves
stressful
 and more productive.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, It is believed that without the equal
cooporation
joint operation or action
cooperation
separation
 of
both
Use synonyms
 parents, children won’t grow up in a balanced way. The new active life we are living in requires a new types of
famillies
a social unit living together
families
 where
both
Use synonyms
 man and woman are having jobs,
Linking Words
thus leading to to
Suggestion
thus leading to
 the
nesscesity
the condition of being essential or indispensable
necessity
 of splitting
responsibilites
the social force that binds you to the courses of action demanded by that force
responsibilities
 between the two. In a survey completed three years ago, 73% of the working mothers said that they can’t handle bringing up the
childern
a young person of either sex
children
 without the help of their spouses, while over 80% of the questioned men believed that their equal
contrbution
the part played by a person in bringing about a result
contributions
contribution
 at home made a
poistive
characterized by or displaying affirmation or acceptance or certainty etc.
positive
 impact
in
Suggestion
on
 their children. To conclude, I agree with the
second
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 argument, The rapid life of the modern
socities
an extended social group having a distinctive cultural and economic organization
societies
 requires the efforts of
both
Use synonyms
 parents in taking take and bringing up children,
otherwise
Linking Words
 one partner would be negatively
effected
acted upon; influenced
affected
 by handling all of parenting jobs.
Submitted by hani_ababneh on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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