IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Tourism is becoming increasingly important as a source of revenue to many countries, but its disadvantages should not be overlooked?to what extant do you agree or disagree

#tourism #source #revenue #countries
International
tourism
 has brought enormous benefits and contributed to the
countries
Suggestion
country's
 economy.
However we
Accept comma addition
However, we
can not
can not
cannot
 deny that
tourism
 has its own drawbacks and disadvantages. In
this
 essay I will be discussing
tourism
 adverse effects on a
country
.
Firstly
,
Accept space
,
Tourism
often cause
Suggestion
often causes
 environmental damage like pollution, the loss of natural habitats
,
Accept space
,
in addition
 to that
distruction
the termination of something by causing so much damage to it that it cannot be repaired or no longer exists
destruction
 of natural environment due to construction activity
,
Accept space
,
secondly we
Accept comma addition
secondly, we
 have the cultural aspect
tourism
 can threaten the culture and the tradition of the
country
,
Accept space
,
many locals tend to imitate the culture
that is
 brought by tourists from their home countries
.
Accept space
.
Based on recent cultural research conducted
in Malaysia many
Suggestion
in Malaysia, many
 locals are wearing modern
cloths
clothing in general
clothes
 like the tourists rather
then
conjunction used in comparatives
than
 wearing their own traditional
cloths
clothing in general
clothes
. And
also
 cultural
clashe
a loud resonant repeating noise
clashes
 can happen between locals and tourists
,
Accept space
,
 and it is most likely that
tourism
 can interfere with locals daily activity
.
Accept space
.
On the other hand
, we
can not
can not
cannot
 deny that
tourism
 has
major effect
Suggestion
a major effect
 on the
country
Suggestion
country's
 economy
,
Accept space
,
 it helps provide job
opprotunities
a possibility due to a favorable combination of circumstances
opportunities
 to the locals
,
Accept space
,
in addition
 to that it helps promotes cross culture awareness between countries. To sum up, even thought
tourism
will have
Suggestion
would have
huge impact
Suggestion
a huge impact
 on the
country
Suggestion
country's
 economy
,
Accept space
,
we
can not
can not
cannot
 ignore the disadvantages that
tourism
 have on the society and the environment.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: