some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

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It is a greatly debatable topic whether children’s leisure activities should be
educational
Suggestion
educated
or not. As far as I am concerned, I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
argument and below I will elucidate the reasons for my standing.
Firstly
Linking Words
, society today is advancing at a very fast pace as a
consequence there
Accept comma addition
consequence, there
is a high competition in the society. In order to keep up with the competitive
world it
Accept comma addition
world, it
is the children who are pressurized the most. Not only they are required to study
hard but
Accept comma addition
hard, but
at the same time they are
also
Linking Words
forced
learn
Suggestion
to learn
other skills from a very young age. Parents constantly put pressure on their children to perform better in their studies so that in future they could take admission in the best of the university and eventually earn good salaries. As
such
Linking Words
, living in a constant state of pressure has taken a toll on the lives of the children. Much research in the field
suggest
Suggestion
suggests
that 70 percent of the children between the age of 9 to 16 are struggling with mental illnesses
such
Linking Words
as depression and anxiety. The figures are quite alarming as it shows how the children, who are apparently the future of our nation, are slowly drowning in the fast-moving world. Given that, I would strongly condemn that leisure activities should have an educational base to them. I believe that leisure activities should be
such
Linking Words
that allows the child to rejuvenate themselves. Even adults intentionally undertake a leisurely activity every now and
then
Linking Words
so that they down have a breakdown due to their hectic lifestyle. To quote an example, I once had developed mild depression due to the hectic
life style
a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes
lifestyle
that I have had.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the only advice that doctor gave to me was to keep myself occupied
in
Suggestion
with
activities that I liked. As a consequence, I started going out with my friends to party and other places that made me happy and within a period of 6 months I completely came out of
depression
Suggestion
the depression
.
This
Linking Words
example shows the activities that I undertook to please myself were not
educational
Suggestion
educated
, yet they were beneficial and taught me how to be happy. In conclusion, it is not necessary that a leisurely activity has an educational outcome, what’s
more important
Suggestion
most important
is for it to be enjoyable. It is
not a waste just
Suggestion
not just a waste
because there is no educational value to it, rather it provides one of the most important lessons, experience.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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