some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

#people #children’s #leisure #activities #waste #time

It is a greatly debatable topic whether children’s leisure activities should be

educational

Suggestion

educated

or not. As far as I am concerned, I completely disagree with

this

argument and below I will elucidate the reasons for my standing.

Firstly

, society today is advancing at a very fast pace as a

consequence there

Accept comma addition

consequence, there

is a high competition in the society. In order to keep up with the competitive

world it

Accept comma addition

world, it

is the children who are pressurized the most. Not only they are required to study

hard but

Accept comma addition

hard, but

at the same time they are

also

forced

learn

Suggestion

to learn

other skills from a very young age. Parents constantly put pressure on their children to perform better in their studies so that in future they could take admission in the best of the university and eventually earn good salaries. As

such

, living in a constant state of pressure has taken a toll on the lives of the children. Much research in the field

suggest

Suggestion

suggests

that 70 percent of the children between the age of 9 to 16 are struggling with mental illnesses

such

as depression and anxiety. The figures are quite alarming as it shows how the children, who are apparently the future of our nation, are slowly drowning in the fast-moving world. Given that, I would strongly condemn that leisure activities should have an educational base to them. I believe that leisure activities should be

such

that allows the child to rejuvenate themselves. Even adults intentionally undertake a leisurely activity every now and

then

so that they down have a breakdown due to their hectic lifestyle. To quote an example, I once had developed mild depression due to the hectic

life style

a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes

lifestyle

that I have had.

Therefore

, the only advice that doctor gave to me was to keep myself occupied

Suggestion

with

activities that I liked. As a consequence, I started going out with my friends to party and other places that made me happy and within a period of 6 months I completely came out of

depression

Suggestion

the depression

This

example shows the activities that I undertook to please myself were not

educational

Suggestion

educated

, yet they were beneficial and taught me how to be happy. In conclusion, it is not necessary that a leisurely activity has an educational outcome, what’s

more important

Suggestion

most important

is for it to be enjoyable. It is

not a waste just

Suggestion

not just a waste

because there is no educational value to it, rather it provides one of the most important lessons, experience.

Wed Jan 22 2020

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

404 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut arts and music out of that curriculum so that children can focus on the useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent do you agree?

The job market today is very competitive and it is best to choose a career or filed of study early in order to get a good job later in life. To what extent do you agreee or disagree?

Nowadays, more and more people choose to do their shopping online instead of going to physical stores. Why is this so? What are the disadvantages of this trend?

IN SOME CITIES PUBLIC PARKS ANF OPEN SPACES ARE BEING CHANGED INTO GARDENS WHERE LOCAL RESIDENTS CAN GROW THEIR OWN FRUIT AND VEGETABLES. DO THE ADVANTAGES OUTWEIGH DISADVANTAGES?

In the future all cars,buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people traveling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?