IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 9

The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. School should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subject such as information technology. To what extent do you agree.

#role #education #children #world #school #art #music #curriculum #focus #information #technology
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, we cannot deny that education is the most important for children. Education has a duty to prepare children to live in the modern world with happiness. There are many subjects that were taught in school. Some people believe that school should focus on the subjects
such
Linking Words
 as
information
Use synonyms
 technology and deduct
art
Use synonyms
 and
music
Use synonyms
. In my view, I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement. There are many reasons that
art
Use synonyms
 and
music
Use synonyms
 still important in currently.
Firstly
Linking Words
, both subjects can release you from extension situation.
Secondly
Linking Words
, these subjects make you feel relax and fulfil your energy when you feel bored.
For example
Linking Words
, when children boring to do homework, they can enjoy by singing a song.
Finally
Linking Words
,
art
Use synonyms
 and
music
Use synonyms
 make you feel calm. After that, it is easier to create new ideas after you listen to
music
Use synonyms
 or see some pictures.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, some people argue that
art
Use synonyms
 and
music
Use synonyms
 were antique subjects which is not necessary for recent days.
Hence
Linking Words
, students should not learn it because it wastes time.
Moreover
Linking Words
, students should study
information
Use synonyms
 technology
instead
Linking Words
 of
art
Use synonyms
 and
music
Use synonyms
 since it will be more crucial in the future world. The main reason is in modern society, we always using IT for finding every
information
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, we are serving the internet for finding new worldwide
information
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, every subject is valuable in its selves. So, we should not ignore each area. No one knows what will happen in the future, maybe one day you will need to use these knowledges.
Submitted by ti_o_opor on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: