More and more fathers are taking a break from their careers so that they can stay home and take care of their children while their wives work. This is better for the family than having both parents work full time. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

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There is no denying the fact that many

fathers

Use synonyms

decide to take a break from their jobs to dedicate most of their

time

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to their

home

Fix the agreement mistake

homes

show examples

and children

while

Linking Words

their wives are still working. At the same

time

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, there is a commonly held belief that one of the parents should quit working to give better care to their kids, but there is

also

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an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that taking a break from

work

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can

cause

Verb problem

have

show examples

a lot of negative impacts on

fathers

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To begin

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with, the decision to leave

work

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may cause a decline in a father’s career, which leads him to miss the developments that happen in his field.

In other words

Linking Words

, job markets are constantly changing and evolving; employees must stay in parallel with these changes to preserve their value.

In addition

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, taking a break from pursuing careers may result in losing a sense of

work

Use synonyms

and staying out of competition.

For example

Linking Words

, if either of the parents worked in the fast-paced technology industry and chose to take a two-year break, they might struggle to catch up with the new tools and trends. Another point to consider is that spending the whole

time

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at home without any professional achievement will lead to mental health problems. It is

also

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possible to say that seeing the accomplishments of other co-workers and their improvements can make some

fathers

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feel unproductive and undervalued, leading to inner conflicts and feelings of depression.

Moreover

Linking Words

fathers

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will face a lot of free

time

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, since children spend half of their

time

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at school,

while

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moms are busy at

work

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, leading to the development of many bad habits

such

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as fast-food addiction and smoking.

For example

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, several psychological studies stated that most males are more likely to get depressed if they don’t have any productive activities in their day.

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coherence and cohesion

Consider adding a concluding paragraph that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion. This will help wrap up your argument more clearly.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that ties back to your main argument. This will enhance the coherence of your essay.

task achievement

Clarify your stance in the introduction. Rather than saying you 'consider that taking a break... can cause a lot of negative impacts on fathers', state that you partially agree with the opinion for balance.

task achievement

Include more specific examples that illustrate your points. Personal anecdotes or data can enhance your argument and make it more relatable.

task achievement

Your essay presents a clear argument that is easy to follow, and you have used relevant examples to support your points.

task achievement

You have identified important issues related to mental health and career progression, showing depth in your reasoning.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

308 words

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More and more fathers are taking a break from their careers so that they can stay home and take care of their children while their wives work. This is better for the family than having both parents work full time. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

Include an introduction and conclusion

Weddings are more expensive in many countries nowadays when compared to the past . What is the reason behind this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Some people say that individuals do no protect cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect environment. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In today’s competitive world, many families find it necessary for both parents to go out of work. While some say the children in these families benefit from the additional income, others feel they lack support because of their parent’s absence.

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.